Question: Dear Luise: i had a very bad parting from my ex parther.we are spilt up aprox 4 years now.however my son from this relationship age 13 who is living with his dad dose not want any contact with me.he wont take my calls or messages .i am engage to be marry and when i met my current fiance my son,s dad told our child i was seen someone after only one week.i didnt want to tell anyone till i knew how it was going to work out.i havent seen my son for two years and feel apart of me so empty how can he hate me so much he was always with me ,he knows i love him.he dosent mind his dad with sumone new but resents me doing it. D.
Answer: Dear D.: That’s your son’s perception. There probably is very little chance that he is going to change it. Putting pressure on him to communicate with you when he doesn’t want to isn’t going to being about reconnecting. He will only distance himself further.
Hold your love for him in your heart and hope that one day he will alter his perceptions. He may or he may not. In the meantime be very careful not to get stuck in self-pity no matter how hard this is on you. That will only make everything worse.
Yes, it is unfair that he gives his father latitude he is unwilling to give to you and you deserve better. However, we aren’t always treated fairly.
Start the new chapter of your life with joy in your heart. Blessings, Luise