My Son Has Bailed

Question: My 16 year old son has been living with his father since July after living with me for the past 16 years. It was all very sudden…the decision not to return.  He doesn’t want to come home, doesn’t want to see me let alone even talk to me.  I remind him that I am holding a place for him at home…he said I should rent out his room and not doing so is a poor decision on my part.  His father has given him complete control over the situation.  I sent my son a text this morning to tell him that I love and miss him.  His response was that he would get a restraining order if I didn’t stop texting him.  I forwarded the message to his father whose response was “I have nothing to do with his response.” P.

Answer: Dear P. Well, he’s sure on a power trip and his dad is going along with it. You could talk with an attorney or with law enforcement but I think either might make things worse.

I would stop. Everything. You are getting no results. Your son is two years from being on his own. This looks like a first step to me. Not done in a kind way. And probably not well thought-out but that’s pretty normal for 16. Stop giving him the opportunity to strike out at you.

To comfort yourself, remember that many boys that age hit the streets and he’s in a much better place than that. Hang in there and start letting go. Blessings, Luise

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