My Son Doesn’t Want To Grow Up

Question: Dear Luise: My son is about to turn 19.  He has always been anxious and wasdiagnosed with ADHD early, later ASD and recently OCD!  He has not had a good time at school and so we withdrew him to do part time distance education.  His OCD is out of control and he yells and screams all the time to get out of doing things.  He has no friends and spends his time on the computer.  We have had so much treatment but it is all getting worse.  He hates me because I know what he is doing!  Hebasically doesn’t want to grow up and is offended by calling him a man when he says that he is just a boy.  I have reached the end of the line with him and am tired and want to get my life back.  What do yousuggest? Thanks, J.

Answer: Dear J.: Your situation is way beyond my experience. My take for whatever it’s worth is your son is ill. I don’t think he doesn’t want to grow up, my guess is that he can’t. I don’t know what I would do if I was in the same circumstances. My guess is that I would attempt to have him tested and possibly diagnosed as disabled. He sounds disabled to me. Then I think I would apply for aid and move him to a group home. That may sound callous but you can still visit and have a relationship and you might both be better off. I’m so sorry. Blessings, Luise

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