Question: Dear Luise: I’m 23 years old and I’m really intrested in this 44 year old man. He treats me really well. He listens to everything and treats me with respect. I guess my question is, is it wrong for a 23 yr old to date a 44 yr. old? My parents arn’t happy about it, but this is about the happiest i’ve been….M.
Answer: Dear M.; Of course your parents aren’t pleased. They see it as an out of balance relationship where you would pass on all the stages of learning and growing that come between 20 and 40. You get to skip most of that struggle…your guy can give you the short version. You are considering opting out of the normal pattern.
You will miss much if you decide to go that route and will pay a high price when come to your 50s and he is in his 70s…and beyond. That said, my husband is 17 years older that I am and I wouldn’t change a thing. I am now 84 and he will be 100 in October. He’s in a nursing home after I totally burned out after care giving for 12 years. I go see him every day and take our little dog over with me…and we are still deeply connected.
So, you see, if you take a short cut at the beginning it can cost you at the end. It’s your call…(not your parents.) Blessings, Luise