Question: Dear Luise: It is hard to know were to start! I am fighting with my mom all of the time! I’m 27years old and my first born is 6 1/2months. me and my boyfreind moved two hours away so he can find better work and did. Every year my moms side of the family has holiday gatherings and i started missing them. one reason I am avoiding my mom and brother. they are teaming up and attacking me for everything. he is her favorite so if she is mad at you he uses it to suck up to her. i have more important things to worry about. a new state a new son a new home all first time. one day i was on facebook venting about girls i went to school with and i posted a comment about how happy i was that i moved b/c i didn’t have to worry about these ppl. i will never see them again. my b/f cousion saw it and commented are you talking about the family they are over welming huh. i said i stay clear from the family and stick with my own. my mom took that as i am avoiding her and told me never to talk to my family again if i feel that way. i tried to currect her but she refused to lisson. she wants to beleive i hate her? sadly with all the drama from her for a year and a half i in a small way do. help me? A.
Answer: Dear A.: Putting something on Facebook is like publishing it in the New York Times or worse. What were you thinking? Or weren’t you thinking at all? How else was your Mom supposed to take that?
You need to apologize to your Mom and tell her the truth, which is, as I see it, that you were/are overwhelmed with all of the changes in your life and all of the demands being made on you…and your were way off base. If your brother is her favorite, so what? You are an adult and have a life of your own and are learning to be a better parent by watching the dynamics between them.
If you’re going to hate anyone, hate yourself for your Facebook indescetion…and then forgive yourself and let it go. Better days are ahead, I’m sure. What you’ve been going through is really tough. Blessings, Luise