Question: Dear Luise: Chanced upon your site. I have a question of my own. Is it possible to reach a point in your married life when you have nothing to talk about with your spouse? My husband is studying for his MBA away from home and I am taking care of our two daughters, a 3 year-old preschooler and soon to be one year-old baby. We are both busy in our daily schedules and have at least something to talk about on phone. But when we are together on my visits to where he lives, after a few initial hours it seems we have nothing to say to each other. I don’t know how it starts. I always feel he stops talking and I start sulking afterwards. I am not even sure he even notices it. At best, I think, he thinks that the girls tire me out. We speak about essential stuff and about kids but nothing else. It feels very stifling to me… and that’s why I am writing. S.
Answer: Dear S.: It sounds like the two of you have taken on a heavy load…or heavy loads, to be more exact. It’s time to get some counseling regarding how you can put joy back into your lives. Overwhelm can bring depression. If that’s what happening to either or both of you, you need professional help.
Young children are a lot to deal with…graduate school is a lot to deal with…and so is separation a lot to deal with. Be proactive ASAP. Blessings, Luise