Question: Dear Luise: I’ve been married for going on 7 years, now, I thought we were very happy up until a month ago. Well it turns out that while I’ve been working 3rd- shift, my mom and my husband have been talking on instant messenger. I went into the files to find out what they have been talking about. Well, it turns my husband has emotionally bonded with my mother to the point of my husband flirting with my mom. I was pretty devastated. I just need to know more about this situation. Is my husband really lonely that I work 3rd-shift or has he really lost his mind? What would someone do about this situation? J.
Answer: Dear J.: How sad. People sure do weird stuff, don’t they? I’m not the person to ask, of course. You are going to have to ask them. That’s not going to be easy. Plus you found out by snooping around.
They are adults and can do as they please but you need to be taken into consideration. There is no room for any such intimacy, even if only in writing, between a mother in law and a son in law. They may not be related but it is still untenable.
Sure working differing shifts is difficult but there are other ways to deal with the fall-out. The present situation is not your fault.
Confront them, get it out in the open, get it resolved or move on. Three’s a crowd! Blessings, Luise