My Boyfriend’s Mom Judged Me Without Knowing Me

Question: Dear luise, I need some help with this situation, i cameacross your site and hopefully you can give me some advice. Well ive known my boyfriend for about 3 years now but we barely started to date a week ago. But on saturday we came across a big problem that had to do with his mom, his mom started to insult me and started judging me without knowing? Some things that were said was that “im with his son for his money”, “that im garbage”, and many more. It got so bad that she yelled at him and told him if he kept being with me she was going to disown? And she has never met me or talked to me? What should i do? This is really messing me up emotionally but i love him so much and believe me nothing that his mom said about me is true. I just dont want mine and his relationship to end we both want to be together andstart a life together but for me family is very important and i want to prove her wrong that im not like that. Please help me out. L.

Answer: Dear L.: This isn’t your issue, to my way of thinking. It is between your boyfriend and his mother. My take is that if you are going to stay together, he will have to tell her that her behavior is immature, vicious and totally unacceptable to him. She is probably not going to change and in choosing you, if that’s what he does, he will have to set and maintain boundaries that will alter if not end their relationship.

This more common than you might imagine. If you feel you would like additional support, please come over to my Web-Forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com where you will find other women to dialogue with about your situation who are all too familiar with the dynamics you describe. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise

 

 

Message: Dear luise, I need some help with this situation, i came

acroos your site and hopefully you can give me some advice. Well ive

known my boyfriend for about 3 years now but we barely started to date

a week ago. But on saturday we came across a big problem that had to

do with his mom, his mom started to insult me and started judging me

without knowing? Some things that were said was that “im with his son

for his money”, “that im garbage”, and many more. It got so bad that

she yelled at him and told him if he kept being with me she was going

to disown? And she has never met me or talked to me? What should i do?

This is really messing me up emotionally but i love him so much and

believe me nothing that his mom said about me is true. I just dont

want mine and his relationship to end we both want to be together and

start a life together but for me family is very important and i want

to prove her wrong that im not like that. Please help me out. L.

 

Answer: Dear L.: This isn’t your issue, to my way of thinking. It is between your boyfriend and his mother. My take is that if you are going to stay together, he will have to tell her that her behavior is immature, vicious and totally unacceptable to him. She is probably not going to change and in choosing you, if that’s what he does, he will have to set and maintain boundaries that will alter if not end their relationship.

 

This more common than you might imagine. If you feel you need support, please come over to my Web-Forum: at www.WiseWomenUnite.com where you will find other women to dialogue with about your situation that are all too familiar with the dynamics you describe. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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