Question: Dear Luise: Gary and I have been best friends for over eight years. Recently I have been thinking about him in a different way. I wonder if it’s smart to let him know or if that would mess things up? I really value our being pals and would hate to lose that. Sincerely, Ginger
Answer: Dear Ginger: Well, wondering isn’t helping much, is it? I have to ask you what your gut reaction is. Do you get any vibes from him? This question has had to come up for Gary as well, and he hasn’t acted on it. Do you suppose he’s afraid of losing you if he makes a move?
I have put it that way to show you how foolish it can be to not be open. Life can pass you by in the meantime. And yes, the very word “open” involves risks. Life can’t be risk-free without being adventure-free. Live a little.
Lots of serious relationships have started with a good, solid friendship. When people fall into lust, and call it love, they often don’t get acquainted and miss the chance to build a solid foundation. Later on that can prove a costly mistake.
Tell Gary that you are ready for a relationship and before you head out into the wide world with that intention, you wanted to be sure he wasn’t interested. That leaves him a lot of room to wish you luck or thank his lucky stars.
What have you got to lose…really. If he drops you like a hot potato at the very suggestion that more might prove to be better, his friendship was pretty shallow. I say go for it and let the chips fall where they may. Blessings, Luise