Question: Dear Luise: I’m in college and am finding one of my professors very interesting. I’ve asked around and he’s married but he and his wife don’t get along. Sometimes when I’m walking on campus he joins me and we visit, but he never asks me out. How do I let him know I’m interested? Fay
Answer: Dear Fay: You don’t have to do anything…he already knows you’re interested and it’s just a matter of time. Dodge him on campus, avoid him like the plague and look elsewhere for company, romance, relationships and entertainment.
You have no idea how many letters I get from women who have started something they couldn’t finish with a guy who started something he had no intention of finishing. If you think it would be a fun adventure to be second best, rejected on holidays and put aside unless it’s convenient for him…think again. It’s usually a very lonely choice and it can get old, very fast. The “My wife doesn’t understand me” bit is a tattered and torn, worn out ploy.
Some women are able to jump a generation, (or two), and make it work, but that can have it’s drawbacks as the years go by. I have a friend who married a man in his forties when she was in her early twenties. Now, they are dealing with two teen-agers. He’s in his seventies and not having any fun at all, as far as I can see.
I know there are stories of “May-December” successes as well. I’m just offering the possibility that the “older man” is sometimes not an easy way to go. But if you must, please make sure he’s single! And by the way, there’s often a reason why. Blessings, Luise