I’ve Loved Her for 42 Years

Question: Dear Luise: This is involved! I am 60, she is 58. We are both married to others. Since 1966 I have loved this woman! She is the only woman I have ever really loved. We only went out a few times and she chose not to date anymore. Anyhow, not a month has gone by that I have not thought of her. Around three months ago, I ran into her and we had lunch and just hugged after. The second time we went for lunch, I gave her a 100.00 gas card since it was close to Xmas. She accepted. After lunch, we kissed on the lips, but not passionately. Now, she will not answer my emails. It’s been two weeks. My questions are what do you make of this? Should I call her? Should I tell her I have loved her for 42 yrs? Thanks! P.

Answer: Dear P.: I would bet that she reads your emails, even if she doesn’t answer them.

The truth is that she has ended things with you twice. She’s currently married and so are you. That’s probably enough right there for her most recent withdrawal.

If you feel you want to, maybe writing a final email will give you closure. You can tell her how you feel and that the ball’s in her court. Then it’s time to let go.

Often with relationships, timing is everything. She didn’t want to see where your feelings for each other would lead when she was unattached “way back when.”
Now you are getting the silent treatment, which leaves you guessing. Whatever her motives, you need to respect them. Blessings, Luise

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