QUESTION: DEAR LUISE: I AM A 23 MALE. I’VE BEEN IN LOVE FOR 5 YEARS. MY FAMILY IS AGAINST US. MY MOTHER WHOM I USED TO TRUST BETRAYS ME. EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY IS THINKING THAT I HAVEN’T GROWN UP. I AM A BABY TO THEM. THEY NEVER ALLOW US TO MEET. I AM AN ENGINEERING STUDENT. NOBODY IS HELPS US. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I DON’T WANT TO BREAK UP BECAUSE SHE IS MY LIFE AND I LOVE HER MORE THAN MY LIFE. IN FACT, LIFE WOULD BE NOTHING FOR ME IF SHE WEREN’T WITH ME IN EACH AND EVERY MOMENT. SHE HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH. NOW, IT’S LOOKING LIKE SHE IS LEAVING ME AND GONG FAR AWAY. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I WOULD BE HIGHLY OBLIGED IF YOU COULD HELP ME RESOLVE MY PROBLEM. N.
Answer: Dear N.: You may not be able to do anything about the situation if you are still financially dependent on your family. A five-year relationship speaks well for both of you but she may be getting tired of waiting to be accepted.
It seems to me that the family that accuses you of being a baby may also be trying to keep you a baby…if they won’t support your decisions. I know some of it might be the customs of your country but we all have to make our own mistakes. And it may not be a mistake at all. It sounds to me like you may have found a wonderful partner.
If she is determined to leave, I wouldn’t suggest that you throw away your opportunity to complete your education. You need to finish what you started. Ask her to stick by you and let her know that you will defy your family when you are free to do so. Then, it’s up to her. Blessings, Luise