Question: Dear Luise: Well, I was with my ex-girlfriend a while back and we were happy for a long time. Another girl came onto me and started to flirt with me, and what not. One day we both had a drink to many and we both kissed. My ex found out and we broke up. She got with another man the same day. Now she’s left that man for another man. It’s been 2 years and I see her everyday since she lives really close by. Every time I walk by there she kisses her new boyfriend in front of me. For some strange reason I’m falling for her again. Is it wrong for me to do this? Should I just move on? Sometimes I wonder if she still loves me or not. J.
Answer: Dear J. It is probably a good guess that your ex feels like you have some unfinished business. You were happy together, as far as she knew, and it all went down the tubes rather suddenly. If what you got into with the other girl meant nothing much to you…then you probably didn’t expect things to end like that either.
When someone takes up with a new person the same day, it could reflect being deeply hurt and and/or raging anger. Maybe both? Certainly there was a lot of drama flying around. There still is, isn’t there? Two years latter she seems to still be trying to prove something to you (and probably herself) every time you pass by.
You might be falling for her again, or you might still be feeling the original attachment, since you were together for a long time. There’s no way of knowing in advance what would come of it if you spent some time with her and told her how you felt. It may be too late or it may not.
If you feel willing to risk it, ask her to get together with you for a talk and see where it goes. That’s probably the only way you’re going to be able to move on…with or without her. Blessings, Luise