Question: Dear Luise: I am desperate. My twenty year old moved out becuase she is rebellious and she moved to my mother in laws. I thought I would die inside. The problem is my daughter seems to be getting closer to her. It hurts and i am jealous. My daughter and mother in law have both picked up on this. My daughter says its in my head and then we fuss awful then we dont speak for days then i get hurt agsin when my motherin law purposely tells me something my daughter confided in her. I want my daughter to see my motherinlaws manipulating ways so bad but I just keep loosing everytime . Desperately seeking advice. my daughter doent want to hear about it or she just pushes me away. sometimes I feel like she doesnt even love me anymore. also the motherinlaw lives in front of me so it is hard to ignore them because i see evrything they do. R.
Answer: Dear R. What they do is none of your business. I know that’s a hard pill to swallow but your daughter is old enough to live where she chooses and she could choose a lot worse place than with her grandmother.
Good for you for seeing that you are dealing with jealousy. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the truth about something like that. You job now is to fill you life with something else besides what they are doing. You need to focus on what will work for you and follow that path…hobbies, work, church, new friends…volunteering. Build your self- confidence by building yourself a life. Otherwise it is only going to get worse.
You were a person before you became a DIL and before you became a mother. Honor yourself now with self-love and let yourself expand into a healing mode.
I would also like to suggest that you join my online community and share your issue there. www.Wise WomenUnite.com . Others will understand. Blessings, Luise