Question: Dear Luise: I am newly married to a man with 3 children from his first marriage. We are expecting a child in a few weeks and I have a four year old son from a previous relationship. My husband’s middle son, who is 12, lives with us and so does my son.
My husband’s 7 year olds daughter visits our home every other weekend…so it can get exhausting with all the kids around. My question: My husband has started asking me to babysit his daughter on the days she is out of school. Her mother has a babysitter in her apartment complex that watches their daughter after school and typically on the days she is out of school. I am not interested in babysitting…as I am tired, almost full term, and not sure why I should be put in this situation. We had our first fight last night because my husband asked me to watch his daughter one day next week. I agreed to it, but was hesitate…and it started an argument. I tried to explain that I am tired and questioned why she can’t go to the sitter. Please help. I love my husband and I knew he came with children, as I did, but I don’t want to be the BABYSITTER. N.
Answer: Dear N.: Let him know that you don’t have it in you…that you need help with the kids, not extra work. And tell him after the baby comes, it will get worse for some time to come…not better. I think he is being insensitive to the max, and I would ask him to go to couples counseling with you, when you have the energy. You have a long haul ahead of you and you need to partner with each other for it to work. Blessings, Luise