Question: Dear Luise: My son was dating and living with his girlfriend…invited my husband and my self over to their home..we thought we were being invited over..1. she was pregnant. 2. They wanted money for their up coming wedding..when we arrived she asked us if we could just hear her out…she basically raked me over the coals…I never liked her or her kids..why did everyone wear all the Navy things…my son is in the United States Navy…after an hour of this I left in tears..I refused to attend their wedding..now my son will have nothing to due with our family. Help!!! I had a wonderful relationship with my son…until this. I’m not allowed to send him a letter or call unless I apologize. I can’t do it, my now daughter-in-law was horrible. Thank you, Heart Broken Mom
Answer: Dear HBM: You took a stand and now they have done the same thing. They want you to back down and you won’t. You are being punished for standing up for yourself. What a mess.
To me, being dictated to by someone you don’t respect is unacceptable and apologizing for respecting yourself isn’t called for. Losing them is the price you pay but what have you lost? Your son is behaving differently by choice. Remembering how he used to is about the past, not the present, right? If you can’t fight them and you can’t join them, it looks to me like you have to let go of them.
To get the opinions and suggestions of others please come over to my Web-forum: www.WiseWomenUnite.com . It was designed for women with issues with adult children and extended families. Blessings, Luise