I Still Feel Married

Question:Dear  Luise, 2 years and 6 months ago my husband died. He was separated from me and told the courts he wanted his wife back. Our friends split sides of not liking me and not liking my husband. Rumors of we divorced were spread for 13 years of our marriage and no one believed me that we were still married. When he died i was not contacted and i did not know until a doctor friend of mine told me.The really sad part is that i still loved him and he died not knowing. He left for me widows pension and health insurance coverage.Later it was told to me ,my husband lied about being divorced to protect me from his relatives who would start threats and harass me to no end wanting his money.So even through death he has showed me love and devoted as my husband and our love for one another goes on even after death.Question: How can i date and love another when i feel still married? Am i still Mrs. or am i Ms. ? I am  interested in a man whom loves me and wants to date with marriage in the future.How can i not feel guilty to hold a man and kiss a man? I feel as though i am still a wife and cannot be with any  man. What is your advice for me ? God Bless You    love; M.

Answer: Dear M.: I’m a widow and I go by Luise Volta, without a title. When asked, I give my status. We can’t be married to a dead person. You may need grief counsuling to help you work through your regrets (which we all have, believe me) and to help you accept your loss, if it isn’t real to you that your life has changed and it is normal to move on. Moving on doesn’t mean you are being disloyal. Most of us have room in our hearts to love again. I know I do. If you have a man who wants marriage…you have already fallen in love. Enjoy it, you deserve it. Blessings, Luise

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