I Just Want A Chance

Question: I am in a very complicated situation but I will try to keep it short.  My younger daughter (YD) was taken away from me when she was 8 years old by Child Services.  I never got her back and all visitation was terminated.  My older daughter (OD) and also with me.  For years OD has been dishonest and told me she had no contact with YD.  This year she told me she has been seeing her all along.  My  YD does not know my older daughter has a relationship with me So OD has been dishonest with both of us  I got into a big disagreement with OD because I told her I wanted to see YD and I was writing a letter to let her know I want to see her when she is 18 and letting her know that OD has had a relationship with me. Also the letter would tell her how the guardians would not let me see her.  I believe YD deserves the whole truth.  My OD told me she called YD and told her I called her and that I told her I want to see her when she turns 18.  She will be 18 in June. OD stated YD said “I do not want anything to with this woman.”  I am devestated but not suprised by what she said.  How can I reconcile with her. I do not want to give up I love her deeply and I know I cannot change the past, I just want the chance to show her I’m not a horrible person and how much I love her.  Please I need your help.  I have nowhere else to turn.  Thank you. M.

Answer: Dear M.: It’s YD’s decision. She may have misinformation but if she chooses to act on that, you have no recourse. She will be free t seek you out when she comes of age but she does not have to do that. Apparently at this time she is not interested. This isn’t about you and how you feel, it’s about her.

YD now knows that the door is open. She may decide to connect up with you some day or she may not. I know it is painful…but all you can do is wait, continue to love her and get on with your life as best you can. Blessings, Luise

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