Question: Dear Luise: All of my life I have felt this need to be better-than or greater. This has pushed me to some great successes but now it is creating a lot of strife. Right now I have started a new job that I do not feel is right for me. It’s in a field I am no longer passionate about. It is literally sucking the life out of me but I am scared to change careers because I feel I have to follow this through. How can I learn to follow my own instincts. This has been so hard. B.
Answer: Dear B.: You are way ahead of most in your ability to listen to and monitor yourself. And yes, it’s often very hard. My take is that you are evolving and maturing into more than a competitive person. There’s nothing wrong with that but…there can be more to a life than “better-than.”
What you do about your discovery that the new job isn’t right for who you are becoming has to do with your circumstances, of course. Sometimes, savings need to be accessed or even your standard of living may require modifying but…being true to seeking and honoring inner change and expansion can be worth it.
I’m 86 and have made many radical moves in my life that have been highly criticized, mostly by family members. (They often seem to be our worst critics.) Now, they are all gone and my guess is the reason I’m not is because I have always leaned toward extending my horizons by refusing to live within self-imposed and societal limitations. Has it always been comfortable?, no, but/and what really matters to me is that I have no regrets. Blessings, Luise