Question: Dear Luise: I have reconnected recently with an old flame from many years ago. We have good memories but nothing in common. Because we are both alone, we made more of it than is real and I don’t know what to do now to backtrack. He thinks we have a future but I know we aren’t compatible. I want more than a live body. I want a thinking person and he just reads and repeats what he has read. I got that any live body would be fine for him and that he is looking for a future care giver whether he knows it or not. How can I get out of this? E.
Answer: Dear E.: Not gracefully. There is no way I know of for you to exit with kindness and understanding. The lesson lies in where you were driven by your loneliness and what that emotional indiscretion will cost both of you.
I suggest that you don’t try to explain. There is no way that is going to come across as useful in the situation you find yourself in. Break it off without explanation and know that he will find another warm body much faster than you will recover from this experience. Warm bodies abound and compatibility is rare. Honesty is ever rarer. I commend you.
Give yourself room to heal from the loss of something that didn’t exist and if you have anyone you can share your experience with that is not judgmental, do that. Listening with understanding and compassion is the priceless gift of those we love who know us like the backs of their hands and who find us to be fine exactly the way we are. It helps us to do the same thing. Deep healing lies within. Blessings, Luise