Question: Hi Luise: How can I win this one? I am at war with myself over smoking. It’s a monster! I have to have them and I hate them at the same time. I see clearly what they are doing to me, yet every effort I have made has failed. My health is now at risk. Do you have any suggestions? Is there any hope? Thanks. Vern
Answer: Dear Vern: Let me tell you right off that if I had the answer to that one, I’d be basking in the sun on the Italian Rivera! That said, there is always hope. You may have read more about chemical addiction than I have and you have certainly called it what it is…a MONSTER! I heard a speaker once say that to quit smoking…just cut off your leg. You will be focused elsewhere. And yet I have known people, and you probably have, too, who have continued to smoke against all odds. There is within each of us a value system that operates most of the time without our knowing it.
Where we get into deep trouble is when different parts of us value different things. It’s the “King of the Mountain Game” regarding who is reigning supreme, moment to moment. There is a part of you that wants to be comfortable and sees smoking as very useful to that end. Another part sees the overview, health wise, and is worried sick. For what it’s worth, I’ll tell you how I did it. I got engaged to a wonderful guy. He said there was only one thing he really didn’t like about me, my smoking. He offered to get hooked again, (he was one of those disgusting converts), and then quit with me. It worked. So for me, partnering was the magic wand. He got so hooked that he was smoking in bed! And when we stopped, both of us nearly died! And…we made it! Blessings, Luise