Question: I dont know what to do anymore. I live in Germany and my Boyfriend is in the states , Military , we met eachother here in Germany, he had to leave last year in August, everything was okay, he came here to visit me over x-mas and new years. Still at this time everything was okay, but since 2 weekends, this is the 3rd weekend, he turn his phone off, and turn it back on after the weekend. Everything is okay during the week, he says he loves me, he miss me like crazy, and he calls me and write me textmessages, but then at the weekend he turn his phone off. the first weekend he told me he was mad , because we had a lil fight, and he wanted to calm down first . The second weekend he said his phone was broken and he brought it to a store, and got it back at the end of the weekend. Now the 3rd weekend, i tried to call him at 8pm because he was sick, and he said he have to take strong medicine what makes him sleepy, so i called him early that he can go to sleep early, but he didnt answerd the phone, i tried it a couple of times, but nothing, and i wrote a text message, that i thought iam doing a good thing to call him earlier that he can get his rest, but now he went out, or is ignoring the phone. since then the phone is off. I tried to e-mail him, but he dont answerd, and he dont call me, it kills me not to know whats going on. I thought that he mabye have somebody else, thats why he dont wana talk to me, but i just want an answer, if it is like that i cant change it, but this situation is eating my heart and i cant take it anymore. Sorry for my bad english, i hope you understand it. thank you. E.
Answer: Dear E.: Your English is a whole lot better than my German! I can’t write or say one word!
You already know what you need to know. You don’t want a person like that. His on-again-off-again phone tactics are unkind and he knows that. He is causing you pain, heartache and stress and he knows that, too. The name for it is abuse.
When a guy is that cruel before marriage, you sure don’t want to take it any further. Let it go, shut your own phone down and get on with your life. If he tries to contact you, don’t respond. You have a clear picture of how mean he can be. It’s time to write him off. You deserve a whole lot better. Blessings, Luise