Question: Dear Luise: My son, disowns me and when he talks about me to anyone he identify’s me by my name only. He told my husband that I am a pathetic spineless excuse for a mother. He dated his girlfriend for 10 years. We had a small disagreement in 2007 and since then he has hated me? I cannot understand what I have done for him to hate me so. His girlfrend found fault with anyone in our family. He will beleive anything she saids and claims she gave him a brain and saved his life!! I am lost with sorrow but I will go on with my life because until he can tell me what I am done for him to want me dead, there is nothing I can do. Its been hard on mothers day (my birthday falls on that day sometimes). I am always praying for him, but nothing changes. He got married last year and had a daughter last month. I know I will never see his daughter, because his wife wants nothing to with us. She is the one who started the falling out of our family and she is the one who shines? Give me some hope to go on with my life. L.
Answer: Dear L.: The hope I can give you is that you were a whole person before you had children and you can be whole again. Some grow up and make choices we don’t’ understand but our lives aren’t over.
Please don’t look for logic. This happens a lot more often than you may realize and there is no reasonable “reason.” You deserve so much better.
Come on over to my Web-forum designed for women who are facing issues with their adult children and extended families. You will find comfort and understanding at: www.WiseWomenUnite.com Blessings, Luise