My Son’s Father Won’t Help Him

Question: Dear Luise: I have a baby boy with my boy friend. He doesn’t want to maintain his son. All he can do is to spoil girls and friends outside by having nice time. I don’t want to take him to maintenance court because I don’t want to force him. I love him and I want him to do the right things, especially for his son. N.

Answer: Dear N. You want your boyfriend to be different than he is. Loving him and seeing him as good father material can be two very different things.

There are men who don’t want to settle down. They want to stay over sized boys and they want to continue to play.

My guess is that you will have to take legal action to get maintenance. That’s sad because you want it to be forthcoming voluntarily. If he were going to do that, he probably would have by now.

You need to focus on your son and how you can give him the best life possible. You love him as well and he’s your first priority.

Talk with you boyfriend one more time and ask him to step up to the plate and take his parenting seriously. If he refuses, he leaves you no choice. Do what you have to do. Blessings, Luise

One Response to My Son’s Father Won’t Help Him

  1. D. September 29, 2008 at 2:25 pm #

    That’s the best course to take. Awesome job Luise! I think you should try to approach him more in terms of being a father to his son, but not a financial issue…until he shows that it would be the only way to support his son, then take the legal action.

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