Question: Dear Luise: I met a nice guy, through a mutual friend, and we both had a positive reaction on our “blind date”. I live in another state and come to his state once a month to visit my grown sons. Each time I come, we have a long, long lunch and talk our heads off. Today, three months later, after lunch number four, he told me he was at a “crossroads” with me…that one led to continued friendship, (a letter and a lunch now and then), and the other one led to a lifetime commitment. I was really flummoxed! Yes, I was thinking along the same lines, but I thought the subject wouldn’t come up for ages. I told him he had surprised me, (the understatement of the year), and that I would have to give it some thought. How do I handle this situation? Yours truly, Gladys
Answer: Dear Gladys: What a fun question. It sounds like you are in agreement and that neither of you are kids, since yours are grown. He may have jumped the gun, but then, maybe he doesn’t want you to get away since you live in another state and he doesn’t know what your other options are.
I would be honest with myself and then I would be honest with him. Look into your heart and see if it looks like you want to slow him down, head him off, or jump on the bandwagon. I can tell you this, I know someone who got married because she hated dating. She liked the guy but felt she was too darn old to play the “dress up, go out to eat and kiss on the front steps” game. He confessed to her that he felt they were spinning their wheels and getting nowhere, so they decided to get married and get acquainted later! That was seventeen years ago and I’ve never known a happier couple. So, as I suggested above, have a deep, heart-to-heart talk with your self, and then have one with him. Dare to be different if you find that’s what appeals to both of you. Blessings, Luise