Estranged From Son

Question: DEAR LUISE – I AM IN THE MIDST OF THE NEVER ENDING SITUATION  OF THE MOTHER/SON RELATIONSHIP AND WOULD GREATLY VALUE YOUR ADVICE.  IN 1997 – MT MOTHER – WHO HAD ALWAYS RESENTED ME (FOR VARIOUS REASONS)
WENT TO GREAT LENGTHS TO POISON MY SON AGAINST ME.  i DID NOT SEE MY BOY FOR 7 LONG PAINFUL YEARS  -BUT DURING THIS TIME MY MOTHER HAD A HEART ATTACK AND I LOOKED AFTER HER – AND FORGAVE HER. I FOUND OUT WHERE MY SON LIVED AND KEPT IN TOUCH – KEPT THE DOOR OPEN – GAVE HIM ALL THE CHOICES – AND WHEN SHE DIED HE INSTANTLY CAME INTO MY LIFE AGAIN.   HE LATER MET A LOVELY GIRL – WHOM I COULD SEE AS FALSE BUT WHO HAS MADE MY SON REALLY HAPPY.   HE HAS NOW – AGAIN – STOPPED SPEAKING TO ME!!
HE HAS BOUGHT A NEW KITCHEN – A NEW CONSERVATORY – A NEW HOT TUB – ETC.ETC – AND I (PERHAPS STUPIDLY) MENTIONED THAT IT WOULD BE NICE FOR HIM TO HAVE SOMETHING NICE FOR HIMSELF!!   HE WENT OFF  LIKE A ROCKET – HANGED UP THE PHONE AND HASN’T SPOKEN TO ME SINCE!!  i SOMETIMES GET TIRED HAVING TO KEEP A CONVERSTION WITH HIM –  AND ANYTHING ELSE – IN A TOTALLY NEUTRAL STATE!! LIKE I AM NOT ENTITLED TO VOICE A THOUGHT OR ENCOURAGE HIM TO HAVE SOME NICE STUFF FOR HIMSELF. HE WORK VERY HARD – HIS WIFE HAS 2 TEENAGE CHILDREN FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE – AND WE INITIALLY TREATED THEM AS  OUR OWN – BUT THEY NEVER CONTACT US – OR TAKE UP OUR INVITATION TO VISIT.  HIS IN-LAWS WERE MADE SO WELCOME IN   OUR HOME BUT NEVER CONTACT US EITHER. EACH CHRISTMAS IS A NIGHTMARE AND I DREAD ALL THE AWFULLNESS THEY CREATE – EG – LAST YEAR THE STEP DAUGHTER ENDED I  JAIL FOR ASSULTING A BOYFRIEND I  FRONT OF TWO POLICEMEN!!  I WAS FURIOUS THAT MY SON WHO HAD BEEN WORKING SO HARD (AWAY FROM HOME) – BUT WHO HAD HAD LITTLE SLEEP AND RAN BACK AND FORTH WITH FOOD AND FRESH CLOTHES FOR THIS LITTLE SPOILED GIRL – TILL SHE GOT BAILED  – AND I WAS TOLD NOT TO MENTION IT!! (AS IF!)   WE HAVE TRIED TO HARD TO MAKE THINGS OK – BUT IF FEEL I JUST CAN’T DO IT ANY MORE. I AM SO GLAD – AND SO PROUD OF WHAT MY SON HAS ACHIEVED – AND I KNOW THAT MY SON HAS MADE HIS CHOICES – BUT WHAT ON EARTH CAN I DO ABOUT ALL OF THIS?  HIS WIFE AND HER FOLKS DO NOT SEEM TO WANT ME NEAR MY SON – AND IT SEEMS LIKE THEY OWN HIM – AND HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO DO THEIR BIDDING – RUNNING AROUND FOR TWO VERY SMART AND MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE! I PRAY SO HARD THAT HE WILL GET IN TOUCH – BUT I DO NOT WANT HIM TO HAVE DIVIDED LOYALTIES – I ONLY WANT TO HEAR HIS VOICE A LITTLE. THANKS FOR LISTENING. BLESSINGS, N.
Answer: Dear N.: I feel that your issue needs more than just my feedback. Please come over to my Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com where you will meet others facing very close to the same thing…under different circumstances. It’s a place to to heard and supported. I’ll be there, too. Blessings, Luise

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