Question: Dear Luise: My husbasd and I have been together right two years. We have been married for 7 months and had our first child 3months ago. When we were dating he cheated on me with one of his Ex girlfriends. I found out on our vacation. We decided to work it out and moved into together shortly afterwards. I also have two children from a previous marriage …..since we got married we agrue everyday. I feel like he regrets marrying me and like he regrets having our son(he talks about how much our son looks like me and how he does not look very much like him) I don’t know what to so. I love him very much but I don’t want to make him miserable or me for that matter. F.
Answer: Dear F.: It sounds like your husband is working through something. I would suggest that you let him know you are aware that’s the case and you are ready to discuss it. The sooner the better.
Tell him you can see he is unhappy and need to know what’s going on with him. That’s why you wrote to me. I agree. My belief is that a marriage is not a marriage without communication. There are just too many things that need to be ironed out.
If my husband had made the same kind of remark when our son was tiny, I would have wondered if he thought for some reason that the child wasn’t his. That’s shaky ground, to say the least. And I’d wonder if he wanted a DNA test. I’d also wonder if he thought that just because he was unfaithful, I had been, as well. And lastly, I would probably wonder what I ever saw in him.
You are being left to guess what’s wrong and it’s affecting you adversely. You deserve better than that. Blessings, Luise