Question: Dear Luise: there have been many issues with my family since i divorced their dad when they were 10 8 and 3 years old – i raised them without help, worked many jobs to feed and clothe them, but they totally blame me for their upbringing – saying i was ‘never there for them’ yet their father never paid a nickle of child support and never visited unless he was drunk and obscene. now my oldest daughter’s son is treating me like i’m junk…i’m good for money and a ride and gifts, etc, but if things don’t go his way he will stand and swear at me like a trucker at 15 – it’s disgusting and i don’t want to put up with it. i believe the problem starts with his mother (my oldest) … am I right? D.
Answer: Dear D. It’s pretty hard to tell where it started. Some teenagers seem to become verbally aggressive without much help from anyone. Your job, as I see it, is to get that it is abuse and that taking it from him is enabling him to stay in that pattern of behavior. You need to remove him from your life and let him (and his mother) know that he will not be allowed contact until he can not only be civil but also respectful. Blessings, Luise