How Do I Deal With this Fear?

Question: Dear Luise: I am wondering what to do here.  I started dating a woman about a month ago. She had been broken up with her previous boyfriend of five years about a month and a half ago. She had been straight up and told me that she just couldn’t automatically stop her feelings she had for him, but she wanted to pursue our relationship. I understood. Well, recently he was in the hospital for a serious injury, his daughter called her to tell her, (she was like a ‘step-mom’ to his kids.) She felt compelled to go to the hospital, “at least for the kids”. I am having difficulty with this, of course, and I am concerned.  What is the best way for me to handle this? I really like and care for her…and our relationship was starting to blossom to something deeper. Now of course I’m concerned she will go back to him and its bothering the heck out of me. Thank you. J.

Answer: I think you have every reason to be concerned. Crisis often brings recently estranged people back together. Their relationship lasted a half a decade and yours is of very short duration.

All you can do is wait it out, be supportive and keep your own council. And you also need to know that most reconciliation’s that come out of crisis don’t last. When everything settles back down…the problem that caused the break is still there. So, if the worst happens, I would advise you not to be in a hurry to close any doors. Blessings, Luise

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