My Daughter Will Only Listen To Her MIL

Question: Dear Luise: My daughter won’t let me see my grandchildren. Especially my eightyear-old grand son. She hates me and says I am unfit to see them; that she needs a psychiatric evaluation. Her mother in law is obsessed (and so is her husband) with my grandchildren and they have a right to see them and take them to their home all the time. The grandfather hits my grandson in the face and he is very hot tempered. I’m afraid that something can happen. What do I do to have my daughter understand? She threw me out of her house because of her mother in law. She is a horrible person with me and talks to my daughter against me. She puts her little gossips to my daughter and she gets horribly mad with insults and won’t let me see the kids. My son in law is in rehab for drugs. If he were here, he would put my daughter in her place. Her mother in law interferes with me and makes me ill. I get sick over this–please advise. S

Answer: Dear S.: It sounds to me like you need to protect yourself from this situation, if it is making you sick.

Once your daughter sets her mind to it, she can pretty much do what she pleases. She’s blocking you in every direction. It would seem to me that all of this conflict is taking its toll on everyone…and that probably includes your grandchildren. It also looks like your daughter and her mother in law deserve each other.

I would suggest you back out of the whole mess and focus your interests and energies where you are respected and appreciated. You are not in a position to act in your grand children’s best interests because of your daughter’s power, beliefs and attitudes…and, unfortunately, it’s her call. Blessings, Luise

4 Responses to My Daughter Will Only Listen To Her MIL

  1. T. October 15, 2009 at 2:30 pm #

    Dear Luise, Our oldest daughter asked us to help when her she wanted to leave her husband, so we helped and now she went back to him and we are the bad guys. Her husband is trying to stop us from seeing our grandson that we have grandparent rights with since we raised him from birth til he was seven months old and have had him in our life for five years. Oh please help me understand what I’m suppose to do? T.

    • Luise October 18, 2009 at 9:51 am #

      Dear T. You got caught in the middle. Your daughter is the key here. Ask her to intercede for you and if she doesn’t, the only other course of action I know of is to confront them with your grandparent rights. Blessings, Luise

  2. H. November 11, 2009 at 1:03 pm #

    It is so comforting to find this site. My daughter has two beautiful little boys, but won’t let me see them (The tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this). She treats me like a piece of dirt. I put up with it for over 3 years . She’s fine when going on holidays and asks me to babysit, which I’ve done willingly. But then after a few weeks she turns on me again and calls me horrible names, for absolutely no reason. She has everything – lovely husband, home and everything she wants. She lives 25 miles from me and said she’ll never come to visit me. She frequently drives 200 miles to see her father (my ex – I’m divorced). He also thinks she’s wrong not to let me see the boys, but doesn’t say anything to her in case he loses her). I’m feeling desperate, especially when I haven’t done anything to her and I love the boys so much. My life is hopeless. Thank God I found this site, I know I’m not alone. H.

    • Luise November 14, 2009 at 9:31 pm #

      Dear H. Please come over to my Web-forum at: http://motherinlawsunite.com It is about coping with adult children who choose to hold us prisoner for no reason. Support is crucial. Blessings, Luise

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