Question: Dear Luise: I want to ask how to cope with hostility in others. I went to a zoning hearing and testify for the place I live. They want to expand and have done all of their ecology research and planning to meet and exceed all codes. Their application has been approved but some neighbors filed an appeal to try to stop it. The people filing the appeal were nasty and the feeling of hate in the room seemed palpable to me. They never even got to me, so I’m going to be going back again. What, if anything, can I do to keep from returning home shaking and weeping over how it feels there? Cynthia
Answer: Dear Cynthia: I can really relate to your question and I also know there are a lot of people who are shaking their heads and saying…”what”? They are the ones that know that the animosity is about those evidencing it…not about you.
How do you get to where they are? Beats me! Many people are just “there” The rest of us have a lot of work to do to survive the kind of experience you are describing. If I read you correctly, the animosity wasn’t directed at you, since you didn’t even get to speak. The owner of your apartment house or subdivision was the target, right? So, it was your proximity to the poorly contained rage of a group of people that affected you adversely. Correct?
First of all, when you go back…don’t just bop in there without a thought except what you’re going to say in defense of your landlord. That’s a major, tactical error. You know how you are. This has got to have happened to you before. Use your own energy. They aren’t the only people with an energy field. Align your energy with your landlord and his team of technical experts that will undoubtedly testify and know that there is just as large a force of positive emotion there as there is negative. Choose.
You aren’t on trial. You are 90% observer. Be curious. Feel yourself to be solidly “you” and surrounded by people who are also strong. Watch the opposition and know that they are afraid of change. Know that some of them might even just enjoy a good fight. It doesn’t sound like you see any fight as “good”, so just watch and wonder how it must be to be like that. Do your thing…then let it go! Blessings, Luise