Comments for MomResponds.com: Ask Questions, Get Answers

Comment on What’s my Fifth Wheel Trailer Worth by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:12:56 +0000

P – When an RV is older, the value is in how much it appeals to a buyer and what they are willing to pay. I would try it at that but not necessarily count on it.

Comment on Shut Out by our Daughter-in-law by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:09:26 +0000

J. Please consider coming over to my Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com The women there could benefit so much from your experience and it is a very loving andunderstanding community. Blessings, Luise

Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:04:11 +0000

H. – Please come over to my Web-Forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com where a community of women support each other on these kinds of issues. Blessings LuiseReply

Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:57:55 +0000

L. – Those feelings and memories will stay with you for the rest of your life, if you have the same experience I have had. What changes when we “have it be that way because we can’t change it”, is the intensity eventually lessens for most of us. We knew our moms couldn’t live forever and neither can we…because death is guaranteed as soon as life occurs. There simply is no “right time.” That doesn’t mean we have to like it. It means that it’s part of our job (life experience) to move through it. And as our lives progress…we have to face loss through the death of a loved one over and over again. For me, losing my son was as hard as losing my mom. We just have no where to put the reality that they are gone. What you are feeling, that seems impossible to endure, is normal. It comes with having been loved deeply and learning to return love. Blessings, Luise

Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:42:00 +0000

L. – I see that you have come over to my Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com where a community has formed around the kinds of issues you describe. Wise Woman!

Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by L.

L. — Tue, 08 May 2012 15:23:46 +0000

I am so glad I found this site, and that I am not alone! I have 3 adult girls and 2 grandchildren, I divorced from their father when they were quite young, my oldest being 9, & he had remarried very quickly to an old friend of the family. They both resented that I requested child support so much that they tried so desperately to brainwash my girls into resenting me and to live with them, he even told my girls that he would take them to Disney Land if they told the courts I was a bad mother, I would supply everything I could during their weekend visits so he would not complain, including soap, shampoo etc..but he refused to let them shower because he told them he couldn’t afford the water, I have so many horrendous stories, so I will limit them to just a couple as I did, in any event, he had called my middle child on her birthday and told them since they refuse to live with him he wont see them any-longer and for them to come calling when they turn 18..I just continued to raise them the best I could, however I felt so sorry for them that I spoiled them rotten, gave them whatever they wanted in hopes that they will no obsess with the trauma of not having their father in their lives and being blamed for it. They grew up without him, but when they turned 18, they did “come a calling” and was in contact with him, NOW, they all HATE ME for fear of loosing their father again, I am not allowed to see my 2 grand daughters, and I wasn’t even allowed in the delivery room, however their father and step mom were, what a kick in the rear, huh? They ONLY call on ME when they want “something”, of which I put an end to, I am in so much pain over this that it has emotionally ruined my life, As the original poster stated herself that she was moving 300 miles away, I to decided to leave the state, then I wouldn’t live so close.. I guess I figured in my mind that they would NOW have an “excuse” not to see me since I would be so far away! I have done so much for these kids, and have never turned my back, until now. They have treated me terribly and judge me from head to toe!! I am now learning to live without my kids and grand-kids, but I’m afraid that I have not an oz of forgiveness in me, if they should come around again, I don’t want to take up too much of your time by posting all the horrible things they have done and said, but it was enough to push me over the edge and now I want to move on with my life, since I have never put ME first… am I now being the selfish one?! Its been a roller coaster of parental abuse. My oldest however has attempted to reach out to me, but I have no trust nor desire to reconnect, the wounds are still open and I have JUST begun to live without them, hard to do a quick turnaround at the snap of a finger, any advise? Thank you. L.

Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by L.

L. — Sat, 05 May 2012 19:58:39 +0000

Hi.l lost m mum 10 mnths ago but it feels lyk ysterday .The memories of her sickness n death are always on m mind,l can’t get over it.Not a day passes wih out m thnkn abt her n l dream abt her a lot.she was taken away from m way t soon.She was m rock,bestfriend,my everything.l know that she is in a peaceful place but l jst cnt deal wit e lose.plz help. L.

Comment on What’s my Fifth Wheel Trailer Worth by P.

P. — Wed, 02 May 2012 20:07:39 +0000

I have a 1986 Fleetwood Wilderness Model 24 5K We are the second owners to this well kept 5th wheel. the elderly couple that we bought it from kept this unit in perfect Like New condition. since i have no truck now this unit stays in covered storage. it has all the amenaties and the Air work great. Could i get $8000.00 add less. ???? let me know. Thank you so much. P.

Comment on Shut Out by our Daughter-in-law by J.

J. — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 14:01:31 +0000

I too have had lots of problems with my son and daughter in law for years now and also with an abusive daughter who is a one parent. Fortunately they both live miles away. What I have had to do over the years rather than becoming, bitter, ill and stressed out, is to keep my distance from them all and make the most of my life with my husband and my friends, and enjoy life. I really think that the stress from all this can kill you – and life is too short. I try to accept things and let them get on with it. When their children grow up they may get the same problems as us.

I don’t ring them as they always have an answerphone on. When I leave messages on the answerphone, they never return my calls. My son rings me when he wants us to see them all. I have hardened up over the years and if they really did upset me, then I would become estranged from them. Then I would have peace. We are civil at present. J.

Comment on Vintage Travel Trailers and Vintage Campers by mike

mike — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 18:10:00 +0000

I have a 1951 owwoso in excellent condition for sale!

Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by H.

H. — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 15:14:10 +0000

what about the step mom that alienates the kids against the natural mother….thats what I went through. H.

Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 02:40:56 +0000

J. – I’m so sorry you are up against so much pain. I have been dealing with some serious depression over my husband being in a nursing home. H ie 100 years old and I just wasn’t able to care for him any longer. He’s been there for two years. I’m married but I live alone. I go to see him and he often doesn’t know me. I tried eveything for depression and nothing worked. Then I discovered that this unbearable grief and loss I feel will move through me and not get stuck and expand if I do consistant and intense physical exercise. So, I walk three miles a day and go to two different aerobics groups, one a day, and I go to a gym and work out with a trainer daily. It has saved my life and I am productive again. It’s the only thing I know to suggest when we can’t change the way things are. Blessings, Luise

Comment on I Love You Mom by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 02:24:16 +0000

D. – How beautiful! She was lucky to have you, as well. You’re very special. Blessings, Luise

Comment on Are All Camping Clubs Like Port Susan – Part II by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 02:15:49 +0000

S. – You might want to take a look at Lake Connor Park.

Comment on Shut Out by our Daughter-in-law by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 02:13:22 +0000

N. – What a terrible situation. I have no idea how to unravel it but I feel you need support. I have established a Women’s Web Forum where you can share as much of this as you want to, anonymously. I think the understanding and input of other women facing similar issues might help you. If you would like to, please come over to http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com Blessings, Luise

Comment on I’ve Never Met my Daughter by Luise Volta

Luise Volta — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 02:06:24 +0000

D. – If I were in similar circumstances, I would see an attorney. You need to know what your rights and responsibilities are even though it may be too late to establish and carry though what you want; especially if it’s not what the mother wants. You are not stuck in that country. You have a life and you get to lead it. It may be a while before you feel like having much fun but it will come. We all make mistakes. Every time we come to a fork in the road…there are lessons no matter which direction we take. Blessings. Luise

Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by W.

W. — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 20:53:47 +0000

Lost my mother a year ago. dont know how to cope.Yourself and your life is never the same again.You want everthing back the way it was and get trapped in a time warp.Moving on seems impossible but you must find the strength.How? Its different for each of us but you find that path gradually day by day. W.

Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by J.

J. — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 21:08:36 +0000

I am 15 and my mother passed away on the 5th November 2011 (I was still 15 at the time) I am in year 10 at school and I am struggling to get on with life, I have tried going back to school but it is too much, it finally overwhelms me and I just break, ever since then my thoughts have been scattered, I have a hard time recognising my feelings so I can never explain to people how I feel, but I always try my best.

I also NEED to go back to school or I will get way to far behind I have been warned multiple times I may even have to redo this year if I stay away any longer, which I am set on never doing , It would just be embarrassing. I took time off school and stayed away from the idea of going back as I was afraid I might start getting serious depression again, I am starting to recover my feelings and I don’t want it to go back to how it was, I braved school today and in that one day the depression hit me harder than it ever did before, and I am scared that if I keep going in it will get worse, like before.

I really need help coping, and what makes this worse is that I am practically parentless, I live in England but my dad lives in America and has no way of coming to live over here as he is American and also due to other circumstances, I live with my nan and my sister and I just can’t cope, and the school because I have been off for so long is adding so much stress to my situation it is making it even worse, I feel like I need to go to school (and want to) but when I do I am constantly depressed.

Thank you for reading this it felt good to just get this out…J.

Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by K.

K. — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 22:37:47 +0000

Hi Luise, I’m so happy to find you. My Mom died on April 2nd — just a couple of weeks ago. She was 86, it was expected but it’s different when it happens. I wasn’t there with her because I was on my home from a trip. She did pass with my brothers and sister and Dad. I thought I was doing basically ok until today. Today I had a couple of angry outbursts which isn’t my normal way of doing things. I think I surprised my husband, my daughter and most of all myself. This sent me searching for answers and it’s how I found you.

I’ve read most of the comments in this post and as I write tears are streaming down my cheeks. I’m a writer and I love the idea of writing to my Mom. She was a beautiful person who was grateful for every little thing and spoke often what she called the “mysteries” of life. Luise, my Mom lived in Canada — me in the Midwest — and it snows a heck of a lot every single darn winter where she lives — but every year it always seemed like serendipity would intervene and I’d call her around the first snow—each and every time she described the weather as though she’d never seen snow before. LOL. Always a lovely description, always happy and whimsical. I know I’ll miss her when I see the winter roll my way again. But I can write to her can’t I? Thank you so much for this gift Luise, I’m so happy I found you. I’m going to be a pretty journal for just me and Mom. Your experiences and the experience of others and your answers have helped me immensely.

I’m very sorry to hear about your son, I’m certain he was a delightful person because he had such a great Mom and Dad. I know you miss him terribly. I wish I could say something uplifting as you’ve done for me… Love, K.

Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by S.

S. — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 23:20:20 +0000

For those of you coming from divorce, and who have not abused their children and have given everything they had in the raising of their children, please know this: There is a syndrome called Parental Alienation Syndrome. In plain terms, it is what happens to children when one parent, basically, brainwashes the children against the other parent. The children learn that in order to make the one parent happy, they have to turn against the other parent. It isn’t as simple as just that, however, and involves many different types of manipulation and game-playing and the giving and retracting of love and affection on the part of the offending parent in how they treat the child or speak ill of the other parent.
There is much more to it than that, but that is it in a nutshell. There are alot of psychological terms and reasons behind why and how it happens but the effects can carry on for the rest of the child’s life, leaving the loving, caring parent in the dirt and the parent/child relationship broken beyond repair in many cases.

I went through this with my oldest daughter when she was a child…PAS was fairly unheard of way back then, and few counselors knew anything about it. But, today, it is something that has been studied and confirmed as a real syndrome brought about by extreme manipulation on the part of one parent which interferes in the relationship between the child and the other parent. PLEASE KNOW that not every case of a child hating his/her parent is a result of abuse by that particular parent. There is alot more to it than just that.

And for those of you who are suffering from estrangement, there are many group sites online where you can talk with other parents who are suffering in the same way.

Where there is love, healing can take place….but it is never easy and it does affect your life whether you want it to or not. S.