Comments for MomResponds.com: Ask Questions, Get Answers http://www.momresponds.com Luise Addresses Your Interests With Wisdom and Love Sun, 19 Feb 2012 09:10:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Comment on Over Protective Mom by A. http://www.momresponds.com/3541/over-protective-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-9448 A. Sun, 19 Feb 2012 09:10:02 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=3541#comment-9448 Im thankful for the blog. Really thank you! Want more. A. Im thankful for the blog. Really thank you! Want more. A.

]]> Comment on My Son Hates Me by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/233/hating-a-parent/comment-page-5/#comment-9447 Luise Volta Sat, 18 Feb 2012 17:01:10 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=233#comment-9447 R - Your son is going to do whatever he is going to do. If rewriting history works for him, along with blaming and rejecting you…that's the answer for him. He is an adult and is responsible for his own perceptions…you aren't. You are letting him continue to hurt you and that is unhealthy. If you start into self-pity, weeping because it isn't fair (and it isn't), it's easy to get stuck there. You can let it make you sick and ruin your life, hurting those around you, as well. He has closed the door. He's an adult. that's his right whether it makes sense of not, or whether it meets your expectations or not. He isn't responsible for your expectations. There are many moms who have just one adult child and when this happens they are pretty much alone…and there are others who have several children who all decide to go the route your eldest has. Those women don't have the loyalty and love from the rest of their kids like you do. Let go of him and let go of feeling sorry for yourself. I have been through the same thing and it's the only was through it and out the other side that I know of. Blessings, Luise R – Your son is going to do whatever he is going to do. If rewriting history works for him, along with blaming and rejecting you…that’s the answer for him. He is an adult and is responsible for his own perceptions…you aren’t. You are letting him continue to hurt you and that is unhealthy. If you start into self-pity, weeping because it isn’t fair (and it isn’t), it’s easy to get stuck there. You can let it make you sick and ruin your life, hurting those around you, as well. He has closed the door. He’s an adult. that’s his right whether it makes sense of not, or whether it meets your expectations or not. He isn’t responsible for your expectations. There are many moms who have just one adult child and when this happens they are pretty much alone…and there are others who have several children who all decide to go the route your eldest has. Those women don’t have the loyalty and love from the rest of their kids like you do. Let go of him and let go of feeling sorry for yourself. I have been through the same thing and it’s the only was through it and out the other side that I know of. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on My Son Hates Me by R. http://www.momresponds.com/233/hating-a-parent/comment-page-5/#comment-9446 R. Fri, 17 Feb 2012 20:11:14 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=233#comment-9446 I have read stories on how our sons hate us as mothers. Mine is 43 years old. He is the eldest of 3 sons. I have a great relationship with the 2 youngest sons and their wives. I am so blessed to have 2 great daughter in laws. I have a total of 10 grandchildren. 7 grandaughters and 3 grandsons. My 43 year old son has a son from his first marriage and the boy is 14 years old and we are not allowed any contact since he was 5 years from his first wife. He has remarried and has a step son, a step daughter and a son of 3 years. My son has always hated me from the time he was very young teenager. When he first got married things got worse. He called for me to rescue him because his wife threw him out of the house. He lived with us for 6 months and was very verbally abusive to me. He finally moved out and met a girl with the 2 kids and got married. I paid for his divorce so he could married. He had a stroke last year and both my husband and I thought he would change for the better but it only got worse. He and his wife have now cut us out of their lives for the second time along with his two brothers and their family. His wife is very spoilt and use to getting her own way. She absolutely does not want anything to do with my 2 sons wives or their children. I have sent emails and made phone calls to them but all was unanswered. I Did a Christmas card along with money for the kids. They gladly cashed the cheque and we never heard from them. I do a lot of volunteer work to stay busy and try and keep my mind from thinking about him. I cheerish the times that I do spend with the other 2 families but there is always something missing. I cry myself to sleep at night and try and figure out where I went wrong. I gave all 3 boys the best that I could give. They had a very good child hood. I just don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel I should just give up....but how can you give up on your own flesh and blood. My son hates me and he has told me so....so many times. He needs to grow up and quit telling lies about how bad his mother is. R. I have read stories on how our sons hate us as mothers. Mine is 43 years old. He is the eldest of 3 sons. I have a great relationship with the 2 youngest sons and their wives. I am so blessed to have 2 great daughter in laws. I have a total of 10 grandchildren. 7 grandaughters and 3 grandsons. My 43 year old son has a son from his first marriage and the boy is 14 years old and we are not allowed any contact since he was 5 years from his first wife. He has remarried and has a step son, a step daughter and a son of 3 years. My son has always hated me from the time he was very young teenager. When he first got married things got worse. He called for me to rescue him because his wife threw him out of the house. He lived with us for 6 months and was very verbally abusive to me. He finally moved out and met a girl with the 2 kids and got married. I paid for his divorce so he could married. He had a stroke last year and both my husband and I thought he would change for the better but it only got worse. He and his wife have now cut us out of their lives for the second time along with his two brothers and their family. His wife is very spoilt and use to getting her own way. She absolutely does not want anything to do with my 2 sons wives or their children.
I have sent emails and made phone calls to them but all was unanswered. I Did a Christmas card along with money for the kids. They gladly cashed the cheque and we never heard from them. I do a lot of volunteer work to stay busy and try and keep my mind from thinking about him. I cheerish the times that I do spend with the other 2 families but there is always something missing. I cry myself to sleep at night and try and figure out where I went wrong. I gave all 3 boys the best that I could give. They had a very good child hood. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel I should just give up….but how can you give up on your own flesh and blood.
My son hates me and he has told me so….so many times. He needs to grow up and quit telling lies about how bad his mother is. R.

]]> Comment on Can I Take Legal Action by W. http://www.momresponds.com/2885/can-i-take-legal-action/comment-page-1/#comment-9443 W. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 05:56:51 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=2885#comment-9443 we live in a world where there is no natural affection so do we accept that? Therefore, we have to move on... and find happiness without our lost loved ones. the fault is with the personalities of the offending family members. We can only hope and pray that they wont have the same pain they have caused us, but I can only dread when its their time if they've instilled in their offspring their callas attitudes. So, my advice is...move on, every dog has their day. W. we live in a world where there is no natural affection so do we accept that? Therefore, we have to move on… and find happiness without our lost loved ones. the fault is with the personalities of the offending family members. We can only hope and pray that they wont have the same pain they have caused us, but I can only dread when its their time if they’ve instilled in their offspring their callas attitudes. So, my advice is…move on, every dog has their day. W.

]]> Comment on My Son Hates Me by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/233/hating-a-parent/comment-page-5/#comment-9442 Luise Volta Wed, 15 Feb 2012 02:17:48 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=233#comment-9442 P and T - You are both invited to join my Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com where the members support each other in getting through issues with adult children and extended families. Blessings, Luise P and T – You are both invited to join my Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com where the members support each other in getting through issues with adult children and extended families. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/1381/my-children-hate-me/comment-page-4/#comment-9441 Luise Volta Wed, 15 Feb 2012 02:14:11 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=1381#comment-9441 R - That's true, of course, we all come from a very subjective point of view that may not apply to another person at all. Blessings, Luise R – That’s true, of course, we all come from a very subjective point of view that may not apply to another person at all. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on Can a Sexless Relationship Work? by J. http://www.momresponds.com/32/sexless-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-9440 J. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 22:36:45 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=32#comment-9440 Thanks, I appreciate that...You are right and I know it is really hard for her also, it pains me to see her like this and to be seemingly powerless to do anything to change it...I didn't read all the posts but thought that it might be beneficial in this discussion for others to have a guys story from the opposite end of the table basically...( Food for thought, if a guy is not there mentally it is such a challenge to perform sexually and if he cannot it has the ability to make him worse) Like it does me After reading more you all seem to care so much and I wish all the best. Thank you Luise for the kind words. J. Thanks, I appreciate that…You are right and I know it is really hard for her also, it pains me to see her like this and to be seemingly powerless to do anything to change it…I didn’t read all the posts but thought that it might be beneficial in this discussion for others to have a guys story from the opposite end of the table basically…( Food for thought, if a guy is not there mentally it is such a challenge to perform sexually and if he cannot it has the ability to make him worse) Like it does me

After reading more you all seem to care so much and I wish all the best.

Thank you Luise for the kind words. J.

]]> Comment on My Son Hates Me by T. http://www.momresponds.com/233/hating-a-parent/comment-page-5/#comment-9439 T. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:47:24 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=233#comment-9439 Dear P. I'm so sorry for the pain that your son's caused you. And my son's as well. It's so hard for me to understand how we give our children all the love and suport that we can all there life's and then they turn on us. We will always be there for our children but our children can't do the same for us. I'm like you P. I cry all the time because I miss and love them. I have 4 son's and have not seen them for several years now. But I wanted to thank you for talking to me. It lets me know that I'm not alone out here in this big world. Thank You P. Your friend, T. Dear P.

I’m so sorry for the pain that your son’s caused you. And my son’s as well. It’s so hard for me to understand how we give our children all the love and suport that we can all there life’s and then they turn on us. We will always be there for our children but our children can’t do the same for us. I’m like you P. I cry all the time because I miss and love them. I have 4 son’s and have not seen them for several years now. But I wanted to thank you for talking to me. It lets me know that I’m not alone out here in this big world. Thank You P. Your friend, T.

]]> Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by R. http://www.momresponds.com/1381/my-children-hate-me/comment-page-4/#comment-9438 R. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:27:18 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=1381#comment-9438 R #2 -that's strange. i am NOT the same R. as the one complaining about her own mother. actually I think she really has no clue as to what are the histories of the others having who have their children not talk to them. for me, i can say to the 'other r.' that my children turned orthodox and that's being exploited by their father into discarding me. so 'r.' speak only for yourself. you just have no idea. R. R #2 -that’s strange. i am NOT the same R. as the one complaining about her own mother. actually I think she really has no clue as to what are the histories of the others having who have their children not talk to them.
for me, i can say to the ‘other r.’ that my children turned orthodox and that’s being exploited by their father into discarding me.
so ‘r.’ speak only for yourself. you just have no idea. R.

]]> Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/99/mother-death/comment-page-1/#comment-9437 Luise Volta Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:05:44 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=99#comment-9437 C - I felt the same way when I lost my mom. There is no replacement and the emptiness can be overwhelming. It takes a different amount of time for each of us. I had a friend once who ws tearfully telling me about her mother's death and when I asked her how long she'd been gone…she said 25 years. To my way of thinking…she had become attached to her grief and that can be lethal. On the other hand, we need to grieve. What I did was write to my mom. I know that sounds dumb but I felt connected when I did that. I poured out my feelings of anger and despair until I started to feel more balanced. I kept writing to her and eventually, I started writing answers back to me from her. I knew, of course, that I was initiating them and wasn't "hearing voiices" but it comforted me and I knew exactly what she would say to me. I still write to her once in a while and she "writes" back. I have no way of knowing whether this would help you or not. I just know that for 58 years it has brought me great comfort. Blessings, Luise C – I felt the same way when I lost my mom. There is no replacement and the emptiness can be overwhelming. It takes a different amount of time for each of us. I had a friend once who ws tearfully telling me about her mother’s death and when I asked her how long she’d been gone…she said 25 years. To my way of thinking…she had become attached to her grief and that can be lethal. On the other hand, we need to grieve. What I did was write to my mom. I know that sounds dumb but I felt connected when I did that. I poured out my feelings of anger and despair until I started to feel more balanced. I kept writing to her and eventually, I started writing answers back to me from her. I knew, of course, that I was initiating them and wasn’t “hearing voiices” but it comforted me and I knew exactly what she would say to me. I still write to her once in a while and she “writes” back. I have no way of knowing whether this would help you or not. I just know that for 58 years it has brought me great comfort. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on Can a Sexless Relationship Work? by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/32/sexless-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-9436 Luise Volta Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:54:35 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=32#comment-9436 J. Thank you for your a very sincere and thought-provoking post. When I suggest that someone move on, it is because they can't seem to find a way to accept the situation. It can be very distructive to feel somehow to blame, no matter how hard the partner tries to be reassuring, and worst of all, to keep trying to change it. And I agree about Viagra. Deaths from the side affects are getting more and more common. You have a very viable value system to my way of thinking…but/and it is yours. If your gf feels that her basic worth is in being sexually attractive…and her hormones agree…it isn't necessarily that easy to work through. It is part of her idenity. Blessings, Luise J. Thank you for your a very sincere and thought-provoking post. When I suggest that someone move on, it is because they can’t seem to find a way to accept the situation. It can be very distructive to feel somehow to blame, no matter how hard the partner tries to be reassuring, and worst of all, to keep trying to change it. And I agree about Viagra. Deaths from the side affects are getting more and more common. You have a very viable value system to my way of thinking…but/and it is yours. If your gf feels that her basic worth is in being sexually attractive…and her hormones agree…it isn’t necessarily that easy to work through. It is part of her idenity. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on Can a Sexless Relationship Work? by J. http://www.momresponds.com/32/sexless-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-9435 J. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:28:19 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=32#comment-9435 Hi, I do not know if I should be writing on here but I have a similar issue..I am the guy in the opposite situatiuon..I'm completely and truly in love with my gf and we just had a beautiful baby girl 4 months ago...My entire life I was always pressured by guy peers and even girls that everything always was about sex, I got caught up in this almost my whole life..I'm 30 years old and have been in several relationships where I was used for sex, I mean I was told I was that good by many girls but I never really thought that deeply into it and I suppose I just got caught up in the hoopla..Sure it was great and fun, cmon right i'm suppose to be the guy so I should just wanna have sex 24/7 but I am not that shallow of a person..All I ever wanted from day one in dating is to be with someone I loved and to be loved in return but for some reason all it ever ended up was sex, sex, sex..Sex now sex tomorrow and the day after etc...........it just went on..I fell deeply in love with someone whom for three years used me for sex (Of course I couldn't have known that then) then one day I just didn't want to, then days went by and I still didn't want to..Why? I kept asking myself because she was like gorgeous, I mean gorgeous..Finally we tried, I felt something and then I just went limp. This went on for a while until she left me for someone else..Since this happened I have had to try to have sex when my significant other wanted to, sometimes I could then sometimes I couldn't..Either way I have to try to have sex??? I mean this is a guy saying I have to try, do you know what it feels like when I cannot, I feel like crap, like the world is ending..I have cried before because she felt like it was her fault and I felt like I was failing as a man..I keep telling her it is not, that I just do not really want to have sex or that i can't..Even after having a daughter successfully I might add(she is mine, also) but it is still the same Issue..Why does life have to be just about sex, I mean species have sex just to have offspring so why isn't it possible that maybe I just don't wanna have sex..I am not depressed, I am happy as can be, I spend all my time with her loving nobody but her, we love our daughter more than anything but still she acts like were 18 and when we dont have sex then it must mean I hate her or I'm suppose to be then cheating or thinking about breaking up..I'm like wow we have a daughter and a wonderful family, I love them both more than anything and it's like thats all that matters to her..It is sex not life, I feel I could get depressed because of sexual pressure.. Ok so I do not know why i'm writing this, maybe it's to give some other point of view that isn't well this has to be some sort of counseling issue, or there is something wrong with you..It's easy for someone else to say leave the guy but it's much harder to look at a guy and see that maybe he really loves you and that maybe he is a guy just like me..If a guy gives you everything in the world you want and cherish then really what is sex on the importance scale..Well what do you want more? love or sex because to me they are two different things..Love is long lasting, something you can cherish till you die..What is sex? It is a physical process that is pleasuring and to give you offspring..My point is how long does sex last at the most or how long in life till even you cannot do it yourself anymore, when that happens you will wish you had someone that loved you for you and not sex..I'm not a pill person so I do not take pills for issues, like I refuse to take viagra just to have sex, it is unnatural and if my body doesn't do it but once every six months then that is what it is..I have no problems with it and heck I never even get mad at anyone so what is my issue?? I do not think anything is wrong with me, I just got sick of sex being something that is all important, I beleive in the power of love and happiness..I often try to lookj at other cultures and other societies to see if there is a way of life that may coincide with how I am, Like is it ok to love someone and be in a happy relationship that doesn't have to do with sex, i wanna raise my family and love my daughter..I do not want to live every day thinking I'm going to lose my daughter because she is going to leave me because of a thing like sex... To the first poster, I as a male of sound mind am sick of everything having to be about sex so I guess I too am looking for my own answers to the opposite question so what do you think of what a guy in the opposite place that loves his family is to do...If I cant have sex then I can't have sex does that mean I love my gf any less or that she should leave me because of it...I would have nothing anymore, all that is good and wonderful in my life would be gone, where would I go from there? I have even looked into the writings of the dalai lama for help, to understand if it is possible to go through life loving everything and everyone, most especially my beloved without sex...Can you understand how it is to be in my shoes and to know that you may lose everything for the all important thing that is sex? What do I do? I do not know anymore, I am at the mercy of the one I love and she holds the key to whether I will be with my daughter every day anymore? Think about it. J. Hi, I do not know if I should be writing on here but I have a similar issue..I am the guy in the opposite situatiuon..I’m completely and truly in love with my gf and we just had a beautiful baby girl 4 months ago…My entire life I was always pressured by guy peers and even girls that everything always was about sex, I got caught up in this almost my whole life..I’m 30 years old and have been in several relationships where I was used for sex, I mean I was told I was that good by many girls but I never really thought that deeply into it and I suppose I just got caught up in the hoopla..Sure it was great and fun, cmon right i’m suppose to be the guy so I should just wanna have sex 24/7 but I am not that shallow of a person..All I ever wanted from day one in dating is to be with someone I loved and to be loved in return but for some reason all it ever ended up was sex, sex, sex..Sex now sex tomorrow and the day after etc………..it just went on..I fell deeply in love with someone whom for three years used me for sex (Of course I couldn’t have known that then) then one day I just didn’t want to, then days went by and I still didn’t want to..Why? I kept asking myself because she was like gorgeous, I mean gorgeous..Finally we tried, I felt something and then I just went limp. This went on for a while until she left me for someone else..Since this happened I have had to try to have sex when my significant other wanted to, sometimes I could then sometimes I couldn’t..Either way I have to try to have sex??? I mean this is a guy saying I have to try, do you know what it feels like when I cannot, I feel like crap, like the world is ending..I have cried before because she felt like it was her fault and I felt like I was failing as a man..I keep telling her it is not, that I just do not really want to have sex or that i can’t..Even after having a daughter successfully I might add(she is mine, also) but it is still the same Issue..Why does life have to be just about sex, I mean species have sex just to have offspring so why isn’t it possible that maybe I just don’t wanna have sex..I am not depressed, I am happy as can be, I spend all my time with her loving nobody but her, we love our daughter more than anything but still she acts like were 18 and when we dont have sex then it must mean I hate her or I’m suppose to be then cheating or thinking about breaking up..I’m like wow we have a daughter and a wonderful family, I love them both more than anything and it’s like thats all that matters to her..It is sex not life, I feel I could get depressed because of sexual pressure..

Ok so I do not know why i’m writing this, maybe it’s to give some other point of view that isn’t well this has to be some sort of counseling issue, or there is something wrong with you..It’s easy for someone else to say leave the guy but it’s much harder to look at a guy and see that maybe he really loves you and that maybe he is a guy just like me..If a guy gives you everything in the world you want and cherish then really what is sex on the importance scale..Well what do you want more? love or sex because to me they are two different things..Love is long lasting, something you can cherish till you die..What is sex? It is a physical process that is pleasuring and to give you offspring..My point is how long does sex last at the most or how long in life till even you cannot do it yourself anymore, when that happens you will wish you had someone that loved you for you and not sex..I’m not a pill person so I do not take pills for issues, like I refuse to take viagra just to have sex, it is unnatural and if my body doesn’t do it but once every six months then that is what it is..I have no problems with it and heck I never even get mad at anyone so what is my issue?? I do not think anything is wrong with me, I just got sick of sex being something that is all important, I beleive in the power of love and happiness..I often try to lookj at other cultures and other societies to see if there is a way of life that may coincide with how I am, Like is it ok to love someone and be in a happy relationship that doesn’t have to do with sex, i wanna raise my family and love my daughter..I do not want to live every day thinking I’m going to lose my daughter because she is going to leave me because of a thing like sex…

To the first poster, I as a male of sound mind am sick of everything having to be about sex so I guess I too am looking for my own answers to the opposite question so what do you think of what a guy in the opposite place that loves his family is to do…If I cant have sex then I can’t have sex does that mean I love my gf any less or that she should leave me because of it…I would have nothing anymore, all that is good and wonderful in my life would be gone, where would I go from there? I have even looked into the writings of the dalai lama for help, to understand if it is possible to go through life loving everything and everyone, most especially my beloved without sex…Can you understand how it is to be in my shoes and to know that you may lose everything for the all important thing that is sex?

What do I do? I do not know anymore, I am at the mercy of the one I love and she holds the key to whether I will be with my daughter every day anymore? Think about it. J.

]]> Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by H. http://www.momresponds.com/1381/my-children-hate-me/comment-page-4/#comment-9434 H. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:19:06 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=1381#comment-9434 give this responder a break....you dontlive in her shoes.. give this responder a break….you dontlive in her shoes..

]]> Comment on I Can’t Cope With My Mother’s Death by C. http://www.momresponds.com/99/mother-death/comment-page-1/#comment-9433 C. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:12:51 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=99#comment-9433 Luise, i lost my mother on 'Dec,11,2011, and its only been 2months. I feel so sad and alone now that she gone, i don't know if im coming or going now days. I don't know what to do or how to be any more. I can't sleep im up all night, and i wate for her to call me each and every day. How long does it take to get over losing some one you loved so very much who was apart of your life from a child. My mother was a strong believer of 'God she was a woman of 'God. I won't to see her again i miss my mother so much and i just can't cope with her death. I need a word. C. Luise, i lost my mother on ‘Dec,11,2011, and its only been 2months. I feel so sad and alone now that she gone, i don’t know if im coming or going now days. I don’t know what to do or how to be any more. I can’t sleep im up all night, and i wate for her to call me each and every day. How long does it take to get over losing some one you loved so very much who was apart of your life from a child. My mother was a strong believer of ‘God she was a woman of ‘God. I won’t to see her again i miss my mother so much and i just can’t cope with her death. I need a word. C.

]]> Comment on Can a Sexless Relationship Work? by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/32/sexless-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-9432 Luise Volta Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:02:34 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=32#comment-9432 C. You already know the answer to that…and it isn't having a child. (That would only complicate things further.) You deserve so much better. Sometimes we have to write our past off, even if it's 3 years, as a learning curve and get on with life. Blessinga, Luise C. You already know the answer to that…and it isn’t having a child. (That would only complicate things further.) You deserve so much better. Sometimes we have to write our past off, even if it’s 3 years, as a learning curve and get on with life. Blessinga, Luise

]]> Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/1381/my-children-hate-me/comment-page-4/#comment-9431 Luise Volta Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:56:24 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=1381#comment-9431 S. The only thing I know of is to rebuild your own life and leave them to theirs. You can't change the perceptions of others when they want to rewrite history and re-assign blame. I have a Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com that may offer you support. It is a very loving and undertanding comunity. Blessings, Luise S. The only thing I know of is to rebuild your own life and leave them to theirs. You can’t change the perceptions of others when they want to rewrite history and re-assign blame. I have a Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com that may offer you support. It is a very loving and undertanding comunity. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on I Can’t See My Grandchildren by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-9430 Luise Volta Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:49:48 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-9430 M. I'd like to suggest that you come over to my Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com for some support and diresction. Blessings, Luise M. I’d like to suggest that you come over to my Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com for some support and diresction. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on My Son Hates Me by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/233/hating-a-parent/comment-page-5/#comment-9429 Luise Volta Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:46:21 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=233#comment-9429 P. You may want to come over to my Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com . There is an community there that has similar issues. Blessings, Luise P. You may want to come over to my Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com . There is an community there that has similar issues. Blessings, Luise

]]> Comment on My Adult Children Hate Me by Luise Volta http://www.momresponds.com/1381/my-children-hate-me/comment-page-4/#comment-9428 Luise Volta Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:42:52 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=1381#comment-9428 R. That may all be true…and…have you taken a look in the mirrow lately? You may see your own ego looking back. R. That may all be true…and…have you taken a look in the mirrow lately? You may see your own ego looking back.

]]> Comment on Our Daughter-in-law is Cutting Us Out of their Lives by J. http://www.momresponds.com/1040/daughter-in-law-stops-us/comment-page-1/#comment-9426 J. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:15:20 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=1040#comment-9426 I have seen this same situation lately come forth. My son married a Swedish girl and moved to Sweden. Everything seemed ok until the twins were born. I began to ask why I had not heard from them and things began to get more and more complicated from there on until my son has quit talking to me also. We can only email and email is not a good way to communicate. So I have had to TOTALLY let go of my son and all communication for now. This is something after 45 years of having a wonderful relationship with my son. He married late in life but was very independent of me. So the only thing one can do is to let go.....go on with your life, not wishing and hoping so much. Will or won't they come back??Somewhere our efforts will be appreciated again with maybe another not as fortunate to have a son so very long....concentrating on other people. Letting completely go. I figure is like a butterfly you only have them for awhile and you have to let it go and what do they say about them returning??....Well....I suppose it can happen with alot of prayer only. Sometimes I think we as mothers have such a strong force that binds in a desire to have what we cannot have all the time forever. A desire that maybe needs to just be fore closed on and given in other ways....GOING through life trying to have that relationship we once had in our life I guess was gift with our sons.....married they become one with the lady. And if that lady is just not willing to accept "old mom" it usually ends up that way.....unless you have a very mature son. My son married at 45 his first marriage and I didn't realize what a daughter in law relationship surprisingly would become. I thought all would be so rosy. I even have pictures of her smelling roses. The wedding marvelous!! So now it is all different....My son was the wind under my wings at one time....now I have to find that desire somewhere else.....and let go. J. I have seen this same situation lately come forth. My son married a Swedish girl and moved to Sweden. Everything seemed ok until the twins were born. I began to ask why I had not heard from them and things began to get more and more complicated from there on until my son has quit talking to me also. We can only email and email is not a good way to communicate. So I have had to TOTALLY let go of my son and all communication for now. This is something after 45 years of having a wonderful relationship with my son. He married late in life but was very independent of me.

So the only thing one can do is to let go…..go on with your life, not wishing and hoping so much. Will or won’t they come back??Somewhere our efforts will be appreciated again with maybe another not as fortunate to have a son so very long….concentrating on other people. Letting completely go. I figure is like a butterfly you only have them for awhile and you have to let it go and what do they say about them returning??….Well….I suppose it can happen with alot of prayer only. Sometimes I think we as mothers have such a strong force that binds in a desire to have what we cannot have all the time forever. A desire that maybe needs to just be fore closed on and given in other ways….GOING through life trying to have that relationship we once had in our life I guess was gift with our sons…..married they become one with the lady.
And if that lady is just not willing to accept “old mom” it usually ends up that way…..unless you have a very mature son. My son married at 45 his first marriage and I didn’t realize what a daughter in law relationship surprisingly would become. I thought all would be so rosy. I even have pictures of her smelling roses. The wedding marvelous!!

So now it is all different….My son was the wind under my wings at one time….now I have to find that desire somewhere else…..and let go. J.

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