Question: Dear Luise: I am in a situation where I need your advice. I know this guy through facebook.com for two months time. In the beginning he was quite interested in me and used to ask me questions like if I am planning for arrange marriage or love. He used to tell me about his family as well. I forgot to tell you that he is in London and I am in United Arab Emirates. He is not quite settle yet. Recently things have changed. He told me that our destinations are surely different and he is not settle yet and can’t ask any girl for marriage yet and it will take him 5 years at least to get settled which is long. Yesterday, after a long time, he chatted with me and kept on saying that. Things have changed between us that we don’t chat so often and we don’t write to each other. He further said that he thinks of me as a very good friend and he want us to be very good friends in future. One thing I don’t understand is that how come he has changed. Firstly he was into me and now he wants us to be friends only. He used to be so possessive in the beginning. Any way I just told him that I am busy but the fact is that when he says such things I do get hurt. I am not really into him, that’s for
sure, but I just feel bad. Why has he changed? Why he lost his interest in me? He was complaining a lot yesterday that he thinks I am changed and am not interested in him. Recently on facebook he has changed his profile status into: looking for relationship & dating. Can you please give me some advice regarding about it. Looking forward to hear from you. Bye, M.
Answer: Dear M. It sounds to me like this may be a game that the guy likes to play. Look at all that has transpired in just two months and you’ve never even met each other! I’d be willing to bet that he is already playing the same game with someone else.
For the few e-relationships that ever really go someplace, there are thousands that never get off the ground. Look closer to home. Pursue introductions to new guys that are made by people you can trust, so you know that they are safe to hang out with. E-guys aren’t necessarily who they say they are…you could have been chatting with a convict. Their profiles aren’t always checked thoroughly. Be careful!
It is easy to wander off into fantasyland when you have nothing solid to go on. Interact with guys you can see and observe. What kind of manners do they have? How do they act around their families? Where do you agree/disagree? A life-partner is someone you can’t cook up in your imagination. And no one can get to know you that way, either.
Caution! That’s the operative word. Make friends online with other women and share ideas, customs, hopes and dreams and forget the guys. Blessings, Luise