Question: Dear Luise: My sister tells me that she is falling back in love with her husband after decades of mutual disinterest. Is this possible or is she just giving me a tough time because it hasn’t happened to me? Thanks. Margaret
Answer: Dear Margaret: Once sisters…always sisters, right? It sounds like you are still competing, still giving each other grief and maybe still enjoying the process.
Anything or almost anything is possible. There are couples who probably wouldn’t want to up the amps on their relationship and are content where they are…they could be described as the “been there, done that” crowd. And there are also couples that have never fallen out of love. I’d like to hope there are lots of us.
The same situation that you describe actually happened to my older sister. She and her husband were so busy raising four kids and wrestling their careers that I think they lost track of why they had gotten together in the first place. They both had time-consuming hobbies and did public service. I don’t think I even knew half of the things they were into and it’s probably a wonder that they did.
Then, along came retirement. There was a flurry of activity centered around selling their home, moving and remodeling their new place. Their kids and grandkids visited often at first, but it all finally settled down and they there were…alone. And yes, it turned into “alone at last”. Sparks flew and they fell back in love. They’d been so busy they didn’t even realize they’d fallen out of love.
It may not happen to you but I bet you could create the possibility, if you were so inclined. That’s part of the issue, is that what you want? If so, why not take a closer look at what would be fun for you and your husband that you haven’t done? Do you travel, entertain, talk? Now there’s a novel concept…a conversation! Set your own goals and follow your own heart. You sister’s marriage is one thing and yours is another. Wish her well and then do as you please. Blessings, Luise