Question: Dear Luise: I am 16 years old, and I want to check if my attitude is totally normal. For the past few years I rarely talk to my family at my house although we live together. I am always quiet and I rarely talk to my parents about school or anything else. My parents always ask me if there is something wrong or if I am facing any problems or anything else, but I honestly have no problems at all. I just don’t like talking much and I mostly prefer being by myself. Am I normal? Please answer me soon. M.
Answer: Dear M.: I have no idea what “normal” is and I don’t have a clue what’s gong on with you but I do know of at least one other guy who feels and acts the same way you do. He’s the son of a close friend of mine. The whole family loves him and just lets him be the way he is. They don’t seem concerned. They wish he would communicate verbally, of course. Silence often leaves others guessing and sometimes uncomfortable. The guy I’m describing talks to his friends at school OK…it’s just at home that he prefers silence. You didn’t mention school.
Talking, sharing, listening and interacting are all part of life and they are skills that need to be developed. Future employment and relationships will require them. I do think that some of us develop into chatterboxes while others of us like to keep our own council.
I would just give it time. You may never be a highly verbal person, but if you feel OK about yourself…you’re probably doing just fine. Stay open and willing to let change come when it does because it will need to, eventually. Blessings, Luise
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