Question: Dear Luise: I really like this guy that goes to my school. I told him that I liked him and he said he wants to see if we’re compatible. We sort of ended up just being friends both agreeing on that. He’s pretty flirtatious with a lot of girls but he’s really nice and sweet. The kind of guy you dream about. He’s got looks, brains, and he’s just an all around great guy. To me it seems like some days he likes me and other days he just wants to be friends. He told me that I was a very pretty girl. I don’t really understand. I’m not sure if he likes me and I should I should go for it, or if he just wants to be friends. And he just happens to be friendly and flirtatious. Please help! I’m so Confused. Sincerely, H.
Answer: Dear H. If you can get comfortable with your guy’s on-again-off-again behavior, then it will probably work to wait it out and see where your friendship goes. However, from what you tell me, I think he probably knows how cute he is and is having a great time playing the field. He likes you and he likes to flirt and he likes other girls, too.
Sometimes being so available doesn’t help. You get taken for granted. Would it be possible for you to back off and look around to see who else might be interesting? Sometimes it’s not the cutest or most popular guy. Sometimes it’s someone you hardly noticed at first that has a lot more to offer
It’s my guess that the guy you wrote to me about doesn’t know who he wants for a steady girlfriend. The whole idea may sound too confining to him. It sounds like he’s playing the field and having a great time. He may enjoy keeping you on the string but what does that offer you, if you want to be “the one?”
When you look at it that way, it’s not very confusing. He told you from the beginning that he wanted to “wait and see if you were compatible.” That may have been the best way he could think of to say he likes you but isn’t ready. And he may never be. Some guys are like that and some guys are only attracted to girls they can’t get. So, why not shop around. That’s what I’d do. Blessings, Luise
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