Comments on: I Can’t See My Grandchildren http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/ Luise Addresses Your Interests With Wisdom and Love Sun, 05 Feb 2012 03:37:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8716 Luise Fri, 28 Oct 2011 02:39:08 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8716 M. Your issues with your daughter, her husband and your granchildren are way beyond the scope of this Web-site. All any of us can do that read your story is to send love and prayers. You all deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise M. Your issues with your daughter, her husband and your granchildren are way beyond the scope of this Web-site. All any of us can do that read your story is to send love and prayers. You all deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: M. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8692 M. Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:25:52 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8692 I raised my granddaughter for the first three years of her life. My daughter was not stable enough during that time to adequately care for her child, even though she fought for custody. I paid thousands of dollars for attorneys and she was able to get her attorney pro-bono. Just before my granddaughter turned three years old, I could no longer afford the legal expenses, and as a result surrender the child to her mother (my daughter.) Even though my daughter was an alcoholic, arrested for theft, had a history of violent behavior, involved in an abusive marriage, slashed her wrists and was hospitalized in the hospital mental ward countless times, the state of SD refused to intervene on the child's behalf. I always knew that my daughter would use me in some way to hurt my grandchild. I moved away. I was gone for two years. All the while I was gone, my daughter lied to the child about why I was gone. Allowing my grandchild to believe that I didnt want her. Whenever I talked with my grandchild on the telephone, I could hear how tired and exhausted she was. I don't believe she ever slept. My own mother (my grandchild's great grandmother) confided to me that my daughter remained "unfit" to properly care for her children. My daughter was arrested again, the children placed in foster care as a result. Her abusive husband constantly telling my daughter and grandchild that he didnt love either of them. On & on & on. Then during a phone conversation with my grandchild, my grandchild asked me when I was coming back to "save" her. I was even more heartbroken and devestated. I wanted to see her so badly, yet I knew that my grandchild expected me to come back and take her away with me. My mother passed away, my grandchild lost her great grandmother of whom she was extremely close to and loved/loved by very much. I returned immediately. Ever since my return, my granddaughter tells her mother that she doesnt love her, doesnt want to live with her and that she wants to live with me. My daughter accused me of being the reason why. This child is very unhappy at home, and she cries out for me uncontrollably. She tells me she is afraid of her room at night. She tells me her mother (and father) hit her in her face, and hurt her. I have witnessed the extreme psychological and mental abuse. Because my grandchild tells her mother that she doesnt love her or want her and screams that she wants me, my daughter will no longer allow my grandchild to spend time with me alone and wont allow her to spend the night. This is cruel. My daughter is constantly threatening to move away, take my grandchildren away, not allow me to see them. My precious grandchild is acting up in preschool, and having outbursts. My daughter physically spanks, hits my granddaughter who is only just turned five years old. My grandson will be four years old in January 2011, and he still cant speak clearly and craps in his pants. Ever since my daughter has had custody of my granddaughter, she wets her bed at night, something she NEVER did when she was living with me. She was potty-trained normally and never had insomnia problems. My daughter gives my granddaughter Melatonin because she can't sleep at night. This is also part of the reason my granddaughter wets her bed at night, because she is unable to awake to go to the bathroom when needed. It sickens me that my daughter is "drugging" my granddaughter this way. Something like this can be a "learned behavior" and affect my granddaughter in the long run by thinking that she needs to take something in order to sleep regularly. I also believe it is a way for my daughter to "get rid" of the pressure of the kids almost on demand. When she gives them Melatonin they pass out cold within seconds. I am very much against this. My granddaughter has told me that her mother has said that she wants to shoot and kill me. When her mother heard her say this, she was very abusive with my granddaughter, spanking her for "lying" when I know for a fact that the child is NOT LYING. My daughter fights with her spouse on a daily basis, where there has been physical violence and constant emotional and mental abuse that my grandchildren live with every day. The police have told me they cant do anything until my daughter "commits a crime." Dont any of these atrocities constitute a "crime?" This is sick! My grandchildren are suffering, and my daughter has no real love for these children. She is not a nurturing loving person, and these children are growing up in the worst way. She spends money on "toys" for the kids, and I guess it must be her guilt for all of the other atrocities? I am worried sick about my grandchildren, most especially my granddaughter because she is the one hurting and suffering the most. My daughter has told me that because I raised her child for the first three years of her life, she has NEVER BONDED with the child. This scares me to death. Somebody please help me. I need some advice. I told my daughter that I will seek intervention because it is my right to be able to spend time with my grandchildren (most especially my granddaughter) because I raised her for three years, and it is also HER right to see me & to be able to spend time with me. Now my daughter is saying that she will never allow HER CHILD to go with me again, or to see me again. I need all of the advice I can get. If there are any psychologists out there than can give me their advice on how this child should be handled or how this situation should be handled, please respond! M. I raised my granddaughter for the first three years of her life. My daughter was not stable enough during that time to adequately care for her child, even though she fought for custody. I paid thousands of dollars for attorneys and she was able to get her attorney pro-bono. Just before my granddaughter turned three years old, I could no longer afford the legal expenses, and as a result surrender the child to her mother (my daughter.) Even though my daughter was an alcoholic, arrested for theft, had a history of violent behavior, involved in an abusive marriage, slashed her wrists and was hospitalized in the hospital mental ward countless times, the state of SD refused to intervene on the child’s behalf. I always knew that my daughter would use me in some way to hurt my grandchild. I moved away. I was gone for two years. All the while I was gone, my daughter lied to the child about why I was gone. Allowing my grandchild to believe that I didnt want her. Whenever I talked with my grandchild on the telephone, I could hear how tired and exhausted she was. I don’t believe she ever slept. My own mother (my grandchild’s great grandmother) confided to me that my daughter remained “unfit” to properly care for her children. My daughter was arrested again, the children placed in foster care as a result. Her abusive husband constantly telling my daughter and grandchild that he didnt love either of them. On & on & on. Then during a phone conversation with my grandchild, my grandchild asked me when I was coming back to “save” her. I was even more heartbroken and devestated. I wanted to see her so badly, yet I knew that my grandchild expected me to come back and take her away with me. My mother passed away, my grandchild lost her great grandmother of whom she was extremely close to and loved/loved by very much. I returned immediately. Ever since my return, my granddaughter tells her mother that she doesnt love her, doesnt want to live with her and that she wants to live with me. My daughter accused me of being the reason why. This child is very unhappy at home, and she cries out for me uncontrollably. She tells me she is afraid of her room at night. She tells me her mother (and father) hit her in her face, and hurt her. I have witnessed the extreme psychological and mental abuse. Because my grandchild tells her mother that she doesnt love her or want her and screams that she wants me, my daughter will no longer allow my grandchild to spend time with me alone and wont allow her to spend the night. This is cruel. My daughter is constantly threatening to move away, take my grandchildren away, not allow me to see them. My precious grandchild is acting up in preschool, and having outbursts. My daughter physically spanks, hits my granddaughter who is only just turned five years old. My grandson will be four years old in January 2011, and he still cant speak clearly and craps in his pants. Ever since my daughter has had custody of my granddaughter, she wets her bed at night, something she NEVER did when she was living with me. She was potty-trained normally and never had insomnia problems. My daughter gives my granddaughter Melatonin because she can’t sleep at night. This is also part of the reason my granddaughter wets her bed at night, because she is unable to awake to go to the bathroom when needed. It sickens me that my daughter is “drugging” my granddaughter this way. Something like this can be a “learned behavior” and affect my granddaughter in the long run by thinking that she needs to take something in order to sleep regularly. I also believe it is a way for my daughter to “get rid” of the pressure of the kids almost on demand. When she gives them Melatonin they pass out cold within seconds. I am very much against this. My granddaughter has told me that her mother has said that she wants to shoot and kill me. When her mother heard her say this, she was very abusive with my granddaughter, spanking her for “lying” when I know for a fact that the child is NOT LYING. My daughter fights with her spouse on a daily basis, where there has been physical violence and constant emotional and mental abuse that my grandchildren live with every day. The police have told me they cant do anything until my daughter “commits a crime.” Dont any of these atrocities constitute a “crime?” This is sick! My grandchildren are suffering, and my daughter has no real love for these children. She is not a nurturing loving person, and these children are growing up in the worst way. She spends money on “toys” for the kids, and I guess it must be her guilt for all of the other atrocities? I am worried sick about my grandchildren, most especially my granddaughter because she is the one hurting and suffering the most. My daughter has told me that because I raised her child for the first three years of her life, she has NEVER BONDED with the child. This scares me to death. Somebody please help me. I need some advice. I told my daughter that I will seek intervention because it is my right to be able to spend time with my grandchildren (most especially my granddaughter) because I raised her for three years, and it is also HER right to see me & to be able to spend time with me. Now my daughter is saying that she will never allow HER CHILD to go with me again, or to see me again. I need all of the advice I can get. If there are any psychologists out there than can give me their advice on how this child should be handled or how this situation should be handled, please respond! M.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8510 Luise Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:00:38 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8510 J - See an attorney. They may have no moral right…but they may have legal rights. J – See an attorney. They may have no moral right…but they may have legal rights.

]]> By: J. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8503 J. Sat, 10 Sep 2011 21:37:23 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8503 my daughter has 2 children with her boyfriend he died in an accident now his parents want the right to see the children the kids even though they where never close to the children after he died they never checked on the children or any thing they took it upon there self to sell everything that there son had and never put the money up for the children they never bought a head stone for his grave the daughter is doing that do they have any rights to these kids. J. my daughter has 2 children with her boyfriend he died in an accident now his parents want the right to see the children the kids even though they where never close to the children after he died they never checked on the children or any thing they took it upon there self to sell everything that there son had and never put the money up for the children they never bought a head stone for his grave the daughter is doing that do they have any rights to these kids. J.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8462 Luise Sun, 28 Aug 2011 14:29:40 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8462 You are in a pretty tough situation that has no easy answers. You may want to come over to my women's forum with your issues for some feedback from others who are facing something similar. We are at www.WiseWomenUnite.com Blessings, Luise You are in a pretty tough situation that has no easy answers. You may want to come over to my women’s forum with your issues for some feedback from others who are facing something similar. We are at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com Blessings, Luise

]]> By: B. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8459 B. Sat, 27 Aug 2011 19:51:19 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8459 I have read these different situations and I am in a terrible one as well. I have 3 granddaughters. My son had a daughter by a woman he did not marry and then left that woman for another and had 2 more children. They, (my granddaughters) are so cute and pretty and I am dying inside a little more each day by not seeing them. I have not seen the girls since before xmas and this is getting to be just too much for me. I am so sick inside I cannot explain. I tried to get along with the woman my son is with, really I did. I always had to walk on egg shells around the woman. I have never met anyone in my life like this woman, no one. If I liked something, she automatically did not and thats fine but it got to the point of ridiculous in stages. So I began using reverse phycology with the womam. When she didn't agree with me then, it was fine because it was nothing I ever wanted. My son is to blame, also of course. If I call him he just hangs up on me and I cannot find out why I am in so much trouble. It is so hard to explain. One of the last things my son said to me, -----I could not believe, he blamed me for his shyness all of his life. What? That is somewhat strange.........anyway, the woman he is with is a control freak and there is no reason to keep me from seeing the girls. What to do. I probably should just delete this but see no where to do that.lol, Now I have been blocked from e-mail on Face book because I was to make no comments on the page. I did not say Grandma misses the girls, I did a long time ago, but yesterday when I went on to see photos of the girls I made little comments of how cute they were, only and now I am blocked. This woman that is with my son say this situation is all between my son and me, that she is not involved? Well, she is the mother of the children, she is the woman that loves my son and she knows that all he does is hang up each time I call.............what does one do then. Even if you did not like (cannot say mother-in-law ) they never married-------she is still the one who professes to love my son so much.B. I have read these different situations and I am in a terrible one as well. I have 3 granddaughters. My son had a daughter by a woman he did not marry and then left that woman for another and had 2 more children. They, (my granddaughters) are so cute and pretty and I am dying inside a little more each day by not seeing them. I have not seen the girls since before xmas and this is getting to be just too much for me. I am so sick inside I cannot explain. I tried to get along with the woman my son is with, really I did. I always had to walk on egg shells around the woman. I have never met anyone in my life like this woman, no one. If I liked something, she automatically did not and thats fine but it got to the point of ridiculous in stages. So I began using reverse phycology with the womam. When she didn’t agree with me then, it was fine because it was nothing I ever wanted.
My son is to blame, also of course. If I call him he just hangs up on me and I cannot find out why I am in so much trouble. It is so hard to explain. One of the last things my son said to me, —–I could not believe, he blamed me for his shyness all of his life. What? That is somewhat strange………anyway, the woman he is with is a control freak and there is no reason to keep me from seeing the girls.
What to do. I probably should just delete this but see no where to do that.lol,

Now I have been blocked from e-mail on Face book because I was to make no comments on the page. I did not say Grandma misses the girls, I did a long time ago, but yesterday when I went on to see photos of the girls I made little comments of how cute they were, only and now I am blocked. This woman that is with my son say this situation is all between my son and me, that she is not involved? Well, she is the mother of the children, she is the woman that loves my son and she knows that all he does is hang up each time I call………….what does one do then. Even if you did not like (cannot say mother-in-law ) they never married——-she is still the one who professes to love my son so much.B.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8434 Luise Tue, 23 Aug 2011 17:50:55 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8434 Dear M. You may want to come over to my Web-forum at www.Wise WomenUnite.com where a comuunity of understanding people help each other out with these very real and very tough issues. www.Wise women Unite.com Blessings, Luise Dear M. You may want to come over to my Web-forum at http://www.Wise WomenUnite.com where a comuunity of understanding people help each other out with these very real and very tough issues. http://www.Wise women Unite.com Blessings, Luise

]]> By: M. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8425 M. Mon, 22 Aug 2011 20:05:21 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8425 I'm a daughter in law. While I agree that grandparents should be allowed to see their grandchildren, I believe that there needs to be a good relationship with the parents before that can occur. I say this only because anyone who is "family" aren't necessarily good people. But that doesn't mean that the parents aren't at fault either. I was treated horribly from my father in law. He constantly undermined my parenting, he talked about how I was disrespecting him to all who would listen (including my own mother). If I asked him to do something concerning my son, he would tell me no and that he would still do whatever I asked him not to do. This created trust issues. I wanted the best for my son and I couldn't trust the one person that I should have been able to. This led to him getting less and less contact and no more babysitting (although he really wanted to). He knew all along why he wasn't being allowed to do what he wanted concerning our son. He tried talking to me about our "problem" and every single time, anything I said would be interrupted and turned back to well you did this too so it's ok. He truly believed that he was doing the right thing. We soon moved far away from him closer to our son's other grandparents. My parents and my mother in law are fine with any requests we need them to do. We don't bother them with babysitting or anything, we just want for our son to enjoy their presence. Now going back to my father in law, he hasn't shown any reason to be able to trust him alone or even with us watching him around our son. Any time we try to resolve anything, I end up in tears because he is telling me that I'm the cause of the problems. He has helped me become insecure with my parenting, insecure with myself. It's hard for me to trust others and even the other grandparents who have done absolutely wrong are getting restrictions that would have never happened without these emotional conflicts that we're never solved. When a grandparent won't take responsibility for their actions, they deserve to be punished. Since then, we still can't solve anything. We have decided that we will not be seeing him because we do not need his negativity to affect the way we treat our child. And if we need to do something for ourselves so that we can be a better parent, so be it. Grandparents do not have the right to blame everything onto the parents. It's 50-50. However, I do take this statement back when and only when a grandparent has a good relationship with their grandchildren and parents for the most part and they just disappeared without a trace. M. I’m a daughter in law. While I agree that grandparents should be allowed to see their grandchildren, I believe that there needs to be a good relationship with the parents before that can occur. I say this only because anyone who is “family” aren’t necessarily good people. But that doesn’t mean that the parents aren’t at fault either. I was treated horribly from my father in law. He constantly undermined my parenting, he talked about how I was disrespecting him to all who would listen (including my own mother). If I asked him to do something concerning my son, he would tell me no and that he would still do whatever I asked him not to do. This created trust issues. I wanted the best for my son and I couldn’t trust the one person that I should have been able to. This led to him getting less and less contact and no more babysitting (although he really wanted to). He knew all along why he wasn’t being allowed to do what he wanted concerning our son. He tried talking to me about our “problem” and every single time, anything I said would be interrupted and turned back to well you did this too so it’s ok. He truly believed that he was doing the right thing. We soon moved far away from him closer to our son’s other grandparents. My parents and my mother in law are fine with any requests we need them to do. We don’t bother them with babysitting or anything, we just want for our son to enjoy their presence. Now going back to my father in law, he hasn’t shown any reason to be able to trust him alone or even with us watching him around our son. Any time we try to resolve anything, I end up in tears because he is telling me that I’m the cause of the problems. He has helped me become insecure with my parenting, insecure with myself. It’s hard for me to trust others and even the other grandparents who have done absolutely wrong are getting restrictions that would have never happened without these emotional conflicts that we’re never solved. When a grandparent won’t take responsibility for their actions, they deserve to be punished. Since then, we still can’t solve anything. We have decided that we will not be seeing him because we do not need his negativity to affect the way we treat our child. And if we need to do something for ourselves so that we can be a better parent, so be it.

Grandparents do not have the right to blame everything onto the parents. It’s 50-50.

However, I do take this statement back when and only when a grandparent has a good relationship with their grandchildren and parents for the most part and they just disappeared without a trace. M.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8407 Luise Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:35:11 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8407 See an attorney ASAP. The laws vary from state to state. See an attorney ASAP. The laws vary from state to state.

]]> By: M. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8398 M. Mon, 15 Aug 2011 23:07:10 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8398 My son and daughter n law are seperated and have been for 6 months. She has NOT let any of the family including my son see his 4 children. At the time they seperated they had just had a new baby who was 3 days old, we have Not seem this baby nor has my son had a chance to bond with this baby. Everythime he would try to go to see them she would call the police. I have tried to communicate with her and her mother but, neither will respond. Is there anything we can do as grand-parents to obtain rights to see our 4 grandchildren? M. My son and daughter n law are seperated and have been for 6 months. She has NOT let any of the family including my son see his 4 children. At the time they seperated they had just had a new baby who was 3 days old, we have Not seem this baby nor has my son had a chance to bond with this baby. Everythime he would try to go to see them she would call the police. I have tried to communicate with her and her mother but, neither will respond. Is there anything we can do as grand-parents to obtain rights to see our 4 grandchildren? M.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8267 Luise Thu, 14 Jul 2011 01:27:30 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8267 You daughter and her husband have started a new family unit and they make the rules. You comply whether you like it or not. The sooner you let go of judging her and waiting for her to fulfill you expectations the better. She doesn't owe you anything and her children are not part of your heritage unless she says so. You raised her. She became an adult and left home and it's now time for you to get on with your life. To get other viewpoints than mine, please come over to my Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com I established it for women to share and discuss their issues involving adult achildren and extended families. Seveerall generations back, what you want and are not getting was the norm. It no longer is. Blessings, Luise You daughter and her husband have started a new family unit and they make the rules. You comply whether you like it or not. The sooner you let go of judging her and waiting for her to fulfill you expectations the better. She doesn’t owe you anything and her children are not part of your heritage unless she says so. You raised her. She became an adult and left home and it’s now time for you to get on with your life. To get other viewpoints than mine, please come over to my Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com I established it for women to share and discuss their issues involving adult achildren and extended families. Seveerall generations back, what you want and are not getting was the norm. It no longer is. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: S. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8263 S. Tue, 12 Jul 2011 17:10:20 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8263 I have a wonderful, beautiful daughter and she has a great husband. I also have one grandson and a granddaughter on the way. I live in the next state from them which is not too long distance to drive. His parents live several miles away and see them about twice or three or four times a year spending no less than a week with them. I have to make a reservation so to speak to come down and see them which annoys me somewhat and I only stay about 2 /12 days. I honor their family time and do not interfer with them. I have tried my upmost to get along with his parents and have felt that we have a good friendship. My son-in-law speaks very little to me and I feel I really don't know him all that well since the 8 years they have been married. I probably get to see my grandson only about twice or maybe three times a year. Her father and I have been divorced for many years and he has since remarried. Her inlaws are going to be there for the birth of the child with the assumption that they are taking care of the older child. I wasn't wanted there until three weeks after the birth and not after she has the baby in the hospital. Her dad called her several weeks ago and he and his wife were going to run down on the day after the birth and see her and the baby maybe for an hour in the hospital. It is about an 8 hr. total drive down. She called him last weeked and told him that since she is trying to breast feed and she wouldn't feel too well (she is having a C-section) that it would be best for him not to come to see his granddaughter. It really hurt his feelings to the point he broke down and cried. It upsets me that she is so disrespectful of us especially since I am sure her inlaws will not stay away from the hospital. To me it sounds like her husband has convinced her there is only one seet of grandparents (his) and we don't count and he doesn't wish us around. I kinda believe my daughter would if she had a say in this. She is intelligent and should have a say of her own in this but apparently not. I want to very much to be involved in my grandchildren's lives as their grandmother and it hurts so deeply not to be. My son and his wife do not have any children and do wish to have any and that is their option and I respect that. I just don't know where to go and say about this. I would like to confront her and ask her why she doesn't want us around as no matter what she may think there is a little of us in those grandchildren and they are a part of our heritage. I love my daughter so very much and have ignored much of what she has said about us and others in the past and just blew it off but I am to the point I can't ignore all this disrespectfulness she is putting me and her father through. I am feeling she is becoming self-centered and selfish. She never invites me or her dad to come down as we are the ones to call and make an reservation to come down. I have always felt I had a good relationship with my daughter and my love for her will never cease no matter what the outcome. I just feel out grandchildren are missing out on some other grandparents as well and they will never know who we are and about us. I would appreciate it if someone could give me some of their thoughts on this as I would really like to get to the bottem of this. S. I have a wonderful, beautiful daughter and she has a great husband. I also have one grandson and a granddaughter on the way. I live in the next state from them which is not too long distance to drive. His parents live several miles away and see them about twice or three or four times a year spending no less than a week with them. I have to make a reservation so to speak to come down and see them which annoys me somewhat and I only stay about 2 /12 days. I honor their family time and do not interfer with them. I have tried my upmost to get along with his parents and have felt that we have a good friendship. My son-in-law speaks very little to me and I feel I really don’t know him all that well since the 8 years they have been married. I probably get to see my grandson only about twice or maybe three times a year. Her father and I have been divorced for many years and he has since remarried. Her inlaws are going to be there for the birth of the child with the assumption that they are taking care of the older child. I wasn’t wanted there until three weeks after the birth and not after she has the baby in the hospital. Her dad called her several weeks ago and he and his wife were going to run down on the day after the birth and see her and the baby maybe for an hour in the hospital. It is about an 8 hr. total drive down. She called him last weeked and told him that since she is trying to breast feed and she wouldn’t feel too well (she is having a C-section) that it would be best for him not to come to see his granddaughter. It really hurt his feelings to the point he broke down and cried. It upsets me that she is so disrespectful of us especially since I am sure her inlaws will not stay away from the hospital. To me it sounds like her husband has convinced her there is only one seet of grandparents (his) and we don’t count and he doesn’t wish us around. I kinda believe my daughter would if she had a say in this. She is intelligent and should have a say of her own in this but apparently not. I want to very much to be involved in my grandchildren’s lives as their grandmother and it hurts so deeply not to be. My son and his wife do not have any children and do wish to have any and that is their option and I respect that. I just don’t know where to go and say about this. I would like to confront her and ask her why she doesn’t want us around as no matter what she may think there is a little of us in those grandchildren and they are a part of our heritage. I love my daughter so very much and have ignored much of what she has said about us and others in the past and just blew it off but I am to the point I can’t ignore all this disrespectfulness she is putting me and her father through. I am feeling she is becoming self-centered and selfish. She never invites me or her dad to come down as we are the ones to call and make an reservation to come down. I have always felt I had a good relationship with my daughter and my love for her will never cease no matter what the outcome. I just feel out grandchildren are missing out on some other grandparents as well and they will never know who we are and about us. I would appreciate it if someone could give me some of their thoughts on this as I would really like to get to the bottem of this. S.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8246 Luise Sat, 02 Jul 2011 14:37:58 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8246 Come on over to my Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com . It is for women with issues with adult children and extended families. I hope to see you there. Blessings, Luise Come on over to my Web-forum at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com . It is for women with issues with adult children and extended families. I hope to see you there. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: chris http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8242 chris Fri, 01 Jul 2011 11:29:07 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8242 i have two grandchildren which lost there father in 2000, my son, before the death there ages was 5 mouths and 8 years. i watch the children every weekend while they worked we went and did all kinds of things(got real close) after my sons death we took care of our daughter in law and grandchildren for 5 years. she found a new partner and move out of state but still allow us to see the children 4 to 6 weeks every summer and two week at xmas. which we paid for every trip no cost to her. both grandchildren love it here. the oldest grandchild moved back at the age of 18 due to my daughter in law new husband. since that has happen she will not let me talk or see my other grandchild the strange thing is that she was aware of the issues between husband and step daughter and did nothing to change things to keep her child with her. i do not want to raise my grandchildren (i would if i needed to) that's her right, i just want to be a part of her life. the bad thing, this is hurting my youngest grandchild, she very said and there are other family members here which she grew up with. we have a real strong bond. its killing me. C. i have two grandchildren which lost there father in 2000, my son, before the death there ages was 5 mouths and 8 years. i watch the children every weekend while they worked we went and did all kinds of things(got real close) after my sons death we took care of our daughter in law and grandchildren for 5 years. she found a new partner and move out of state but still allow us to see the children 4 to 6 weeks every summer and two week at xmas. which we paid for every trip no cost to her. both grandchildren love it here. the oldest grandchild moved back at the age of 18 due to my daughter in law new husband. since that has happen she will not let me talk or see my other grandchild the strange thing is that she was aware of the issues between husband and step daughter and did nothing to change things to keep her child with her. i do not want to raise my grandchildren (i would if i needed to) that’s her right, i just want to be a part of her life. the bad thing, this is hurting my youngest grandchild, she very said and there are other family members here which she grew up with. we have a real strong bond. its killing me. C.

]]> By: V. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8197 V. Sat, 11 Jun 2011 17:35:42 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8197 Thank You so much and I will!! God Bless You Luise. V. Thank You so much and I will!! God Bless You Luise. V.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8193 Luise Sat, 11 Jun 2011 14:47:13 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8193 There's no use in looking for logic where ther isn't any. It's terrible but it is how the choose to live theri live and handle their kids. Come on over the www.WiseWomenUnite.com You will find support there. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise There’s no use in looking for logic where ther isn’t any. It’s terrible but it is how the choose to live theri live and handle their kids. Come on over the http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com You will find support there. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: V. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8186 V. Sat, 11 Jun 2011 11:20:30 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8186 I have 4 wonderful grandchildren,,who I spend very little time with,,My daugter and son n law lets them spend all their time with her father and his girlfriend,,which I don't have a problem with,,but my thing is,,they fight, argue,,use alot of vulgar language and they also drink,,,and the drinking causes all these things to happen,,my daughter's father is not one of my favorite people,,he's very hard to get along with,,because of his abusive ways,,my thing is how come they can get to spend weeks at their house and not minds,,we live close by each other,,I am very hurt and deeply confused by this because my daughter,,whom I love dearly,,will tell me how her father hits on my 3 year oold grandson,,and my 9 year old granddaughter ocalls me to tell me how they are soooo mean to her,,now my other 2 grandsons are 11months and 7 years old,,the 7 year old lives with his father,,so I never get to see him,,,my daughter and son n law both said that the kids could not go over there any more,,but they still do,,my thing is how come I have to be second choice,,I am their grandparent also,,(tears),,her father's girlfriend is spending all the time in the world,,any time she wants to,,but me when I call for them,,oooh their at her house,,I Love and Cherish my grands,,and when they visit me they dont have a worry in the world,,and my daughter knows this,,,so why can't I have time with my grandchildren likeshe does???? V. I have 4 wonderful grandchildren,,who I spend very little time with,,My daugter and son n law lets them spend all their time with her father and his girlfriend,,which I don’t have a problem with,,but my thing is,,they fight, argue,,use alot of vulgar language and they also drink,,,and the drinking causes all these things to happen,,my daughter’s father is not one of my favorite people,,he’s very hard to get along with,,because of his abusive ways,,my thing is how come they can get to spend weeks at their house and not minds,,we live close by each other,,I am very hurt and deeply confused by this because my daughter,,whom I love dearly,,will tell me how her father hits on my 3 year oold grandson,,and my 9 year old granddaughter ocalls me to tell me how they are soooo mean to her,,now my other 2 grandsons are 11months and 7 years old,,the 7 year old lives with his father,,so I never get to see him,,,my daughter and son n law both said that the kids could not go over there any more,,but they still do,,my thing is how come I have to be second choice,,I am their grandparent also,,(tears),,her father’s girlfriend is spending all the time in the world,,any time she wants to,,but me when I call for them,,oooh their at her house,,I Love and Cherish my grands,,and when they visit me they dont have a worry in the world,,and my daughter knows this,,,so why can’t I have time with my grandchildren likeshe does???? V.

]]> By: D. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8185 D. Fri, 10 Jun 2011 04:37:53 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8185 I don't think there is much hope anymore for this younger generation. Most adults who have grown resent their parents and punish them approriately to make their ego feel good. In the meantime they have ruined others. I feel sorry for these new children. They will no real understanding on what grandparents are supposed to be for. I have no relationship with my grand kids and never really did. My grown children use them as a tool to get back at me. D. I don’t think there is much hope anymore for this younger generation. Most adults who have grown resent their parents and punish them approriately to make their ego feel good. In the meantime they have ruined others. I feel sorry for these new children. They will no real understanding on what grandparents are supposed to be for. I have no relationship with my grand kids and never really did. My grown children use them as a tool to get back at me. D.

]]> By: R. http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8143 R. Wed, 18 May 2011 15:09:10 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8143 Seriously, I am a daughter and a daughter in law and am in awe in the comments and all of the advice on this website. Can anyone communicate appropriately these days? There is an extreme need for family counseling for all parties. Do you really want to drag grandchildren and family members in this mess by involving the legal system? There are deeper rooted issues that have not been discovered and definitely issues of control. The legal system unless neglect, abuse, or emotional distress is involved cannot and will not force the mother or father to require visitation for the grandparent. I suggest family mediation and developing an understanding of how each person feels or where the miscommunication/hurt stems from. Also establishing boundaries on all parties. EVERYONE Suffers from adults thinking selfishly and not putting unselfish & unconditional love and support at the forefront of all relationships. COUNSELING is required ... not legal intervention!!! Seriously, I am a daughter and a daughter in law and am in awe in the comments and all of the advice on this website. Can anyone communicate appropriately these days? There is an extreme need for family counseling for all parties. Do you really want to drag grandchildren and family members in this mess by involving the legal system? There are deeper rooted issues that have not been discovered and definitely issues of control. The legal system unless neglect, abuse, or emotional distress is involved cannot and will not force the mother or father to require visitation for the grandparent.

I suggest family mediation and developing an understanding of how each person feels or where the miscommunication/hurt stems from. Also establishing boundaries on all parties. EVERYONE Suffers from adults thinking selfishly and not putting unselfish & unconditional love and support at the forefront of all relationships.

COUNSELING is required … not legal intervention!!!

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/817/cant-see-grandchildren/comment-page-1/#comment-8090 Luise Mon, 25 Apr 2011 23:38:28 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=817#comment-8090 Find a good attorney who uses a good detective. This is not an issur for a forum. Blessings, Luise Find a good attorney who uses a good detective. This is not an issur for a forum. Blessings, Luise

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