Question: Dear Luise: Help! I have a daughter-in-law that doesn’t talk, is very rude, disrespectful and since coming into our family has somehow gotten us to the point where my son won’t see us (mom or dad and sister) even though I have babysat their daughter whenever she needed. (There are two more that we don’t see.) I was always there when she needed me. I think she does not like the fact we were always close and live in a higher economic bracket then her family. It appears my son has no backbone and probably swallows her one sided stories. What do I do about seeing my grandchildren? (My husband won’t go with me to their house; he is so hurt and angry.) I do not have any other grandchildren and may never! Help! O.
Answer: Dear O. This whole situation hinges on your son. He is in partnership with your daughter-in-law and together they create the rules in their family. As long as he won’t see you, your grandchildren may stay beyond your reach.
I would suggest that you make every effort to repair the rift between you and your son. If he won’t accept that, he and his wife have the right to continue to do whatever they choose where their children are concerned. You don’t get to vote on that.
Your question suggests that you may be much more concerned about not seeing your grandchildren than you are about being separated from your son. If that is true, he may feel it. That’s the relationship you probably need to concentrate on.
You describe him as having no backbone. I would propose that you focus on something positive about him and see if you can mend fences. Blessings, Luise