MomResponds.com: Ask Questions, Get Answers

Comment by T.

April 21, 2009 @ 12:19 pm

Grandparents can file a law suit against their children for the right to see their grandchildren. Grandparents do have a right to see their grandchildren and it can be court ordered if necessary. It’s happened and will continue to happen as long as adult children act like fools. T.

Comment by R.

June 7, 2009 @ 4:36 pm

I am having the same problem with my Son and his girlfriend who share don’t let me see my granddaughter. It hurts and she stays and spends the nite with her other grandmother. One time I gave her a spoonfull of baby cereal at 3 months and they accused me of killing her. She loves me so much. I can’t talk right now I am so hurt, especially when she see’s her other nana and I have never been alone with her since she has been born. She is 2 now. R.

Comment by Luise

June 8, 2009 @ 7:24 am

Dear R.: What a difficult situation…and how totally unfair and even cruel. Please go to my web Forum a: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com
It is new and provides room for discussion and support. Blessings, Luise

Comment by L.

June 21, 2009 @ 2:26 am

I have a son in law that is controlling my daughter and won’t let me see my grand kids just over a disagreement about him smoking in the car with my grand kids. I can’t sleep. I’m on antidepressant pills. Can you help me? L.

Comment by Luise

June 21, 2009 @ 9:19 am

Dear L. Please bring your issue over to my discussion Forum: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com How awful that in speaking up for the kid’s health you are being punished to the max. This is for your daughter to straighten out and looking back she is where you probably should have taken your complaint. If she can’t (won’t) do anything about it, how can you? Blessings, Luise

Comment by S.

August 27, 2009 @ 12:34 am

It is horrible not to let see your grandchild. I am going through the same issue. My daughter’s mother in law and her husband are obsessed with my grand kids. I’m retired and am 70 years old. My daughter won’t let me see my grandchild, now eight. She tells me I am unfit psychologically and need to be professionally evaluates to see me fit to see my grand child. She doesn’t want her around me because of what she hears. S.

Comment by K.

August 28, 2009 @ 6:36 pm

I have a similar situation as well. My son won’t give us a reason why he won’t be a part of our lives. We have tried numerous ways to see the grandchildren and some how it always falls apart (their parents doing). We leave birthday gifts on the back porch for the birthday child and we don’t even get a phone call back to let us know they received it. We have to do this because we aren’t invited to the party. According to their Mom now that they are 6 years old they have “kid parties”. We have a swimming pool and we usually have large family gatherings in the summer. We just had one in July and much to my surprise my son his wife and their four children attended, but without bathing suits. Someone asked them why they didn’t bring bathing suits and they replied they didn’t know there would be swimming. I immediately went in the house and produced a bathing suit for each child and my son, but they said absolutely not. They only live 3 miles away and could have gone home to get their own. It was such an uncomfortable situation because they stayed for over four hours just sitting and watching all the other children swimming. We tried to engaged in games and other forms of entertaining, but it wasn’t happening with everyone swimming. My husband and I are almost to the point of giving up. We feel like we have tried everything. We both so want to be a part of all their lives. Mostly what we need is to learn to accept our fate. K.

Comment by Luise

August 29, 2009 @ 9:11 am

Dear K. This kind of impasse is heartbreaking. And they know you have a pool if they live that close by. Please consider bringing your issues over too my web-Forum: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com There is a lot of support available there. It’s not a DIL bashing board, it’s a place to be heard and receive understanding and direction. Blessings, Luise

Comment by B.

October 26, 2009 @ 8:20 am

Has anyone ever been in a situation where son has a girlfriend who you believe is actually abusing the children? My husband and I finally called Child Protective Services on them after them refusing to let us see the kids. (After having the kids every weekend for the last 4 years, basically since my granddaughter was born.) Now he has cut us off totally from the kids. I am only concerned with their safety and this new girlfriend I believe is abusing them and isolating them. They have told my granddaughter that her mother is dead and will not let her have any contact with her, either. It’s a very bad situation and I don’t know what else to do. B.

Comment by Luise

October 26, 2009 @ 3:56 pm

I would also see an attorney and investigate Grandparent Rights. It sounds like they need an advocate. Blessings, Luise

Comment by F.

April 26, 2010 @ 6:34 pm

my son went to gail because of his girl freind she has one girl and pregnant with a other a boy she’s do in august ‘i toll my son to leave her he did not listen because he was in love and know hes in gail ‘ because of her child protected services wont to take his rigth-hand my off .he loves his child with morre then he love his one self .and i love that baby with all my heart with everything i have but she wont let me see the baby wath are my wrights i love her she’s wonderfull thank you. help. F.

Comment by Luise

April 26, 2010 @ 9:20 pm

You are going to have to see an attorney. Ask someone like your priest or pastor how to find one who will help you without charge. You deserve so much better than this. Blessings, Luise

Comment by Vanny

May 3, 2010 @ 6:58 am

We are having the same problem. My brother recently passed away from cancer and he left behind a nephew. His wife is very rude and doesn’t like my parents. My parents are really sad that my brother passed away and now won’t ever be able to see their grandson. I can’t talk to his wife cause me and her don’t get along either. I don’t know what to do for my parents.

Comment by J.

July 6, 2010 @ 10:02 am

i can’t see my grandchildren very much or my son. my daughter in law is one sided her family comes first. they get to see them all the time. we drive 4 and 1 half hours to see them and she makes plans so we are lucky to see them for an hour and a half if were lucky. this has been going on for eight years. i can’t get my son to tell us why she treats us so bad. my wife wants to talked to her to have a better relationship but she refuses to talk to us. one time she says i know you don’t like me. now how do you like someone who goes out her way to tell us this not a good time to come over, or make excuses so we very little contact with my son and grandkids. we wish there was some way to fix this problem. by the way her family does not know what she’s doing to us. please help us. thank you. J.

Comment by J.

July 9, 2010 @ 9:36 am

I raised my son with all the love and nurturing I could give him. I am a professional person with integrity-my kids have always comne first-no matter what.
At age 16?, my son got involved with a girl with an unfavorable background-she was involved with the law from her early teens, disrespectful to any authority, rude, cunning, extremely controlling, with a strong narcissitic personality. I have seen her verbally abuse my son, and I have experienced repeated emotional abuse from her. Some other of my relatives had experienced the same. She and my son told me her mother is on disability for mental illness-her mother has always been cold and distant to me. My son went from having qualities of John-Boy Walton to someone I don’t even know. He moved out at 18, co-habited with this girl, they got pregnant, had a baby-my grandson.
I have not been able to have a face-to-face, heart-to-heart with my son in 2 1/2 years. They have excluded me from all holidays, and we had had extemely limited contact. They even drained my bank account down to $0.32 cents! -This all devastating to me.
Prior to the birth of my grandson, I was in their apt on 2 occasions-I and my relative witnessed masses of dirty dishes with rotting food, trash t/o the apt, rotting packs of meat on the floor, opened food containers with rotting food, filthy clothing all over the floor, bloody feminine products strewn all over the apt and more. I spoke with them about cleaning things up, offered to help-they ignored me.
The day the baby was born, the mother wouldn’t even allow me to hold my grandson, said and did so many hurtful things-it crushed my soul-I feel like I will never be the same again. She and my son would not take responsibility for any of their actions.

I spoke at length in tears, with the nurses at the hospital that day and asked them to contact social services for f/u. I called CPS anonymous the day the baby was to go home-sharing my concerns re the filth and safety of the home environment for the baby.

Recently, one of my relatives was caring for the baby-she called me and described the deplorable conditions of the home-worse than listed above. My relative’s boyfriend came to the phone and stated the same. I live in another county, a considerable drive. With trembling hands and floods of tears, I made the most difficult decision one could ever imagine-I contacted the authorities-they arrived at the home and promptly removed the baby. They took photos, arrested both my son and the baby’s mother. They were released the next morning. The maternal grnadmother was granted temp custody. My relative states the baby’s mother and maternal grandmother ‘bashed’ me to the workers and told them countless lies about me. They told the workers I was ‘an anxious, depressed, mentally deranged nut case’ and a harm to the baby.’ The workers never gave me a chance to even tell what happened or my observations or concerns.
My relative has since moved in in with them-witnessing still, unfavorable conditions. My relative shared with me the judge dismissed the case.
Through careful consideration, counsel, and prayer, I have decided to step back-I tried to protect the grandchild I hold dear, that I have never known. Either way-I will be grieving-whether I go back into the situation to try for healing with my son and a relationship with my grandchild OR stepping back, removing myself from the dysfunction, with work on healing and getting on with my life. What are your thoughts on this matter? J.

Comment by Luise

July 10, 2010 @ 5:43 pm

I am absolutely convinced you did the wise thing. Blessings, Luise