Question: Dear Luise: My ex-husband is bitter and has turned my son against me. I am so hurt and tired of my son making excuses not to see me. He will only do something with me if my adult daughter makes him. My ex-husband won’t even answer the phone, so I can talk to him about it. R.
Answer: How sad it is to know that there are adults who are wiling prey on children this way. It is all too common. The kids are used as pawns on the relationship battlefield and it is my opinion that the parents who do that are without conscience.
I don’t know of anything you can do when that happens. Attempting to reason with your ex or your son will probably just add fuel to the fire. Your ex is going to keep it up for as long as he does and your son is going to buy into it for as long as he does.
Often, waiting for change to occur is the only option. Kids have been known to eventually see through such manipulation and former spouses have been known to tire of being abusive. In the meantime, know that it isn’t you that is causing this mess. Blessings, Luise