Comments on: My Daughter-in-law Misconstrues Whatever We Say http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/ Luise Addresses Your Interests With Wisdom and Love Sun, 05 Feb 2012 03:37:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-8445 Luise Thu, 25 Aug 2011 17:12:17 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-8445 Good point! Good point!

]]> By: A. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-8443 A. Thu, 25 Aug 2011 11:34:43 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-8443 I think your DIL was wrong not to let you see your grandkids, but the way u speak is certainly rude and u must remember that while your son is used to your discourteous ways, your DIL isn't. Part of the family doesn't always mean the DIL or SIL should accept things that aren't normally social acceptable. Imagine what if your DIL jokes to her mom and calls her something like piggie, and then does the same to you? It would be rude to call you piggie wouldn't it? A. I think your DIL was wrong not to let you see your grandkids, but the way u speak is certainly rude and u must remember that while your son is used to your discourteous ways, your DIL isn’t. Part of the family doesn’t always mean the DIL or SIL should accept things that aren’t normally social acceptable. Imagine what if your DIL jokes to her mom and calls her something like piggie, and then does the same to you? It would be rude to call you piggie wouldn’t it? A.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-8357 Luise Sun, 07 Aug 2011 21:51:29 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-8357 Please consider coming over to my Web-forum www.WiseWomenUnite.com where similar issues are discussed. You will receive support and understanding. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise Please consider coming over to my Web-forum http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com where similar issues are discussed. You will receive support and understanding. You deserve so much better. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: C. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-8356 C. Sun, 07 Aug 2011 19:26:12 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-8356 I have a daughter-in-law from hell. She has managed to push his whole family away. They have been married for alittle over a year and have a daughter. We never see our son or his daughter. I blame him for letting this happen. She is a very cold cold person. I wrote her a letter when I couldn't take it anymore. They both are disrespectful, and he says were not welcome in his home because she says so. She doesn't allow us to see the baby. I'm to the place of dis owning him. C. I have a daughter-in-law from hell. She has managed to push his whole family away. They have been married for alittle over a year and have a daughter. We never see our son or his daughter. I blame him for letting this happen. She is a very cold cold person. I wrote her a letter when I couldn’t take it anymore. They both are disrespectful, and he says were not welcome in his home because she says so. She doesn’t allow us to see the baby. I’m to the place of dis owning him. C.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7634 Luise Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:15:12 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7634 What a beautiful and compassionate response. Please come over to my Web-forum for women who have issues with adult children and extended families. It is at www.WiseWomenUnite.com You will find it a caring and sharing support group. You deserve so much better than what you're getting. Blessings, Luise What a beautiful and compassionate response. Please come over to my Web-forum for women who have issues with adult children and extended families. It is at http://www.WiseWomenUnite.com You will find it a caring and sharing support group. You deserve so much better than what you’re getting. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: M. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7617 M. Sun, 17 Oct 2010 03:00:52 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7617 Dear J, I read your post and my heart aches for you. I thought I had the DIL from hell because she's disliked us from day 1. Don't know why. We never get to see our only grandchild even though she lives 10 minutes away. My son is deployed to Afghanistan. She has a big family & only spends time with them. She has FB our family and friends but blocks us so we don't get to see the baby's picture. This site has helped me see that we are not alone in the pain of rejection we feel. We've been devoted to our son. When he needed special medical care growing up, we sold our house and spent our life savings to help him. I have so much trouble sleeping it's causing health problems. I grind teeth at night so much, one tooth is loose. After reading all of the messages, I finally feel less alone, less isolated, less despondent. Hearing your story especially makes me wish I could reach out and hug you. I hope a cyber hug will do. You are not alone. We are not alone. Someday, we'll understand why this is happening. Often my mom would say of difficulties, "This too will pass." Not sure that's true. However, perhaps the pain will as we find friends who become like family. M. Dear J,
I read your post and my heart aches for you. I thought I had the DIL from hell because she’s disliked us from day 1. Don’t know why. We never get to see our only grandchild even though she lives 10 minutes away. My son is deployed to Afghanistan. She has a big family & only spends time with them. She has FB our family and friends but blocks us so we don’t get to see the baby’s picture. This site has helped me see that we are not alone in the pain of rejection we feel. We’ve been devoted to our son. When he needed special medical care growing up, we sold our house and spent our life savings to help him. I have so much trouble sleeping it’s causing health problems. I grind teeth at night so much, one tooth is loose. After reading all of the messages, I finally feel less alone, less isolated, less despondent. Hearing your story especially makes me wish I could reach out and hug you. I hope a cyber hug will do. You are not alone. We are not alone. Someday, we’ll understand why this is happening. Often my mom would say of difficulties, “This too will pass.” Not sure that’s true. However, perhaps the pain will as we find friends who become like family. M.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7600 Luise Sat, 02 Oct 2010 15:34:23 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7600 You have brought your question to my Web-forum: www.WiseWomenRespond.com and I am glad you are receiving support there. Blessings, Luise You have brought your question to my Web-forum: http://www.WiseWomenRespond.com and I am glad you are receiving support there. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: J. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7599 J. Sat, 02 Oct 2010 01:00:52 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7599 I have a DIL that my son met online thru one of those MMORPG type games. He was married & living with a wife, at the time. About three weeks of talking to this woman online & he went to meet her about 800 miles away for a secluded weekend. They hit it off. The wife was, at the time cheating on my son, so it came to a mutual agreement that they break it off & go their separate ways. The wife kept custody of the 3 grandchildren who by the way, I had raised on the weekends for the previous 5 yrs; I went & picked them up & I took them home every weekend. My DIL then, (mother of my grandchildren) would never come to my house. For the next year, I did my best to get to know this new woman in my son's life. I liked her a lot. She could sing, she had a good attitude & all seemed well, I THOUGHT. However, she wrapped my son up within a couple months & moved him far away from our local area (about 1500 miles away), and soon, I heard less and less from my son. If I tried to call, she always intercepted phone calls or text messages. She would answer for him and I would rarely get an opportunity to talk to him. I got on that MMORPG game online, just so I could try to find and talk to my son once in awhile. What I found out was, when I thought I was talking to him, I was really talking to her!!! She did not reveal that she was using his character in the game! I never said much bad about the DIL, I just said, I wished he would move back closer to "home" so he could be closer to the children who loved him dearly. I said nothing bad, really; just letting him know I missed him & so did the children. But once he was gone, the now divorced wife, would no longer allow me to see the grandchildren. In my state, we, at that time, had no grandparents rights, so I had no recourse. I was broken-hearted to the core about not getting to see my "babies" at least once in awhile. My son grew farther and farther away from me with his new woman, who he eventually married. I got married & moved away from my original home, just a few weeks after they got married. Over the course of the following year, I talked my husband's family into funding a trip for my son and his children to come visit me in my new home. We told them we would be sending them the money; not sure when, but go ahead & make the necessary plans to take off work, etc. One day "she" (the DIL) called wanting to know when I was sending the money? I told her in a couple of days. She proceeded to demand the money by the end of that week. I was befuddled, but ok. We did without & sent 1/3 of the money to them. Come to find out, they needed the money to pay bills with before they left on the trip. Then they demanded the balance of the money within a couple more days, otherwise, they couldn't make the trip. We made arrangements & had the promised balance sent to them. They went to pick up the grandchildren in our home town, visited with my son's dad, & with my daughter. I heard little from them during all this, but continued making plans in my home for them to come to our house over the fourth of July weekend. I had spent over $2000 preparing for their visit, plus sent them their trip money just to see them & my grandchildren. I was soooo excited! I could hardly wait. But ... I got a call from my ex-husband who informed me that he didn't want to get involved but thought I should know that my son & his "pushy" wife had changed their mind about coming to visit me, and didn't think it was necessary to let me know. Instead they went to visit other friends in another state. I actually found out by seeing photos posted on their FaceBook on the day they were scheduled to show up at our house. My husband and his family were furious! (Can't say I blame them) and wanted answers. I tried calling my son, but as always was intercepted by the DIL who proceeded to cuss me out with language I didn't even understand; but any four letter word that you could imagine, she used it against me saying that the reason they didn't come was none of my business & just continued to go off on me. I was stunned beyond belief! I had no idea what I'd done wrong, didn't understand the cursing I just got after giving them the money to go pick up the children & come visit. This incident blew over, but everytime I tried to talk to my son from that day forward, I was denied, and intercepted in every direction & have never been allowed to talk to him since. Yet, she calls me a "drama queen" which I don't understand. I am not the one who caused the drama. I just asked why they used me for the money & didn't come to see me. I finally got a text message about a month ago that says, "We forgive you, but we just don't want any drama in our life, and we choose not to have anything further to do with you". My son's birthday is coming up. They have a new address & I am not allowed to have it. I don't understand. I don't know what I've done. I miss my son & the grandchildren more than you can imagine. I pray a lot & hope a lot. I would have never disrespected my mother in law the way she has disrespected me. To add insult to injury, and consequently, over time, my husband's family held this incident so much against me that my husband and I finally got a divorce & I have since moved back to my original home state. I still have no contact with my son or his children. J, I'm broken. :( I have a DIL that my son met online thru one of those MMORPG type games. He was married & living with a wife, at the time. About three weeks of talking to this woman online & he went to meet her about 800 miles away for a secluded weekend. They hit it off. The wife was, at the time cheating on my son, so it came to a mutual agreement that they break it off & go their separate ways.

The wife kept custody of the 3 grandchildren who by the way, I had raised on the weekends for the previous 5 yrs; I went & picked them up & I took them home every weekend. My DIL then, (mother of my grandchildren) would never come to my house. For the next year, I did my best to get to know this new woman in my son’s life. I liked her a lot. She could sing, she had a good attitude & all seemed well, I THOUGHT. However, she wrapped my son up within a couple months & moved him far away from our local area (about 1500 miles away), and soon, I heard less and less from my son. If I tried to call, she always intercepted phone calls or text messages. She would answer for him and I would rarely get an opportunity to talk to him. I got on that MMORPG game online, just so I could try to find and talk to my son once in awhile. What I found out was, when I thought I was talking to him, I was really talking to her!!! She did not reveal that she was using his character in the game! I never said much bad about the DIL, I just said, I wished he would move back closer to “home” so he could be closer to the children who loved him dearly. I said nothing bad, really; just letting him know I missed him & so did the children. But once he was gone, the now divorced wife, would no longer allow me to see the grandchildren. In my state, we, at that time, had no grandparents rights, so I had no recourse. I was broken-hearted to the core about not getting to see my “babies” at least once in awhile.

My son grew farther and farther away from me with his new woman, who he eventually married. I got married & moved away from my original home, just a few weeks after they got married. Over the course of the following year, I talked my husband’s family into funding a trip for my son and his children to come visit me in my new home. We told them we would be sending them the money; not sure when, but go ahead & make the necessary plans to take off work, etc. One day “she” (the DIL) called wanting to know when I was sending the money? I told her in a couple of days. She proceeded to demand the money by the end of that week. I was befuddled, but ok. We did without & sent 1/3 of the money to them. Come to find out, they needed the money to pay bills with before they left on the trip. Then they demanded the balance of the money within a couple more days, otherwise, they couldn’t make the trip. We made arrangements & had the promised balance sent to them. They went to pick up the grandchildren in our home town, visited with my son’s dad, & with my daughter. I heard little from them during all this, but continued making plans in my home for them to come to our house over the fourth of July weekend. I had spent over $2000 preparing for their visit, plus sent them their trip money just to see them & my grandchildren. I was soooo excited! I could hardly wait.

But … I got a call from my ex-husband who informed me that he didn’t want to get involved but thought I should know that my son & his “pushy” wife had changed their mind about coming to visit me, and didn’t think it was necessary to let me know. Instead they went to visit other friends in another state. I actually found out by seeing photos posted on their FaceBook on the day they were scheduled to show up at our house. My husband and his family were furious! (Can’t say I blame them) and wanted answers. I tried calling my son, but as always was intercepted by the DIL who proceeded to cuss me out with language I didn’t even understand; but any four letter word that you could imagine, she used it against me saying that the reason they didn’t come was none of my business & just continued to go off on me. I was stunned beyond belief! I had no idea what I’d done wrong, didn’t understand the cursing I just got after giving them the money to go pick up the children & come visit.

This incident blew over, but everytime I tried to talk to my son from that day forward, I was denied, and intercepted in every direction & have never been allowed to talk to him since. Yet, she calls me a “drama queen” which I don’t understand. I am not the one who caused the drama. I just asked why they used me for the money & didn’t come to see me. I finally got a text message about a month ago that says, “We forgive you, but we just don’t want any drama in our life, and we choose not to have anything further to do with you”.

My son’s birthday is coming up. They have a new address & I am not allowed to have it. I don’t understand. I don’t know what I’ve done. I miss my son & the grandchildren more than you can imagine. I pray a lot & hope a lot. I would have never disrespected my mother in law the way she has disrespected me. To add insult to injury, and consequently, over time, my husband’s family held this incident so much against me that my husband and I finally got a divorce & I have since moved back to my original home state. I still have no contact with my son or his children. J,

I’m broken. :(

]]> By: T. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7497 T. Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:43:03 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7497 Wow. You guys my son married a mexican girl, no papers, I worked and helped him get her papers and now she's trying to start crap between me and my son. I'm a single mom having raised by myself (with God's help) since he was 3 1/2 months old. Walked 10 miles to get me and him from an abusive man (my ex-husband) when I was 19. Yes, 33 years ago. In May of 77. I'll tell you what I have told him. I did not pay for her green card for her to come here and start crap and if she does try to stop our communicating to court we go. Take care all. God Bless. T. Wow. You guys my son married a mexican girl, no papers, I worked and helped him get her papers and now she’s trying to start crap between me and my son. I’m a single mom having raised by myself (with God’s help) since he was 3 1/2 months old. Walked 10 miles to get me and him from an abusive man (my ex-husband) when I was 19. Yes, 33 years ago. In May of 77. I’ll tell you what I have told him. I did not pay for her green card for her to come here and start crap and if she does try to stop our communicating to court we go. Take care all. God Bless. T.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7416 Luise Mon, 07 Jun 2010 16:30:14 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7416 Please come over to my Web-forum: www.wisewomenunite.com Blessings, Luise Please come over to my Web-forum: http://www.wisewomenunite.com Blessings, Luise

]]> By: F. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7402 F. Wed, 26 May 2010 16:24:33 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7402 I have 2 daughter in laws.One is as sweet as can be- her family is as well.They share the hoildays with us and we have a little grnadaughter that is loved by all and another on the way.They call us we call them- we even hang out together. The other daughter in law is from hell and so her is drunken dysfunctional family- she is a size 00 due to throwing up she has had boob jobs tummy tucks botox and she is not 32 yet and she is on some kind of meds for being crazy--although she has self diagonised as OCD.She knew my son about 6 months before they married- he met her on the internet after divorcing another woman just like her - that one was on prozac and had a sex addiction.When they were planning the wedding I stayed out of it..we paid for his first one-yet they begged us to pay for the before wedding dinner.They asked us for $500.00 and said it was going to be at a country club.3 days before the dinner in her driveway she snickered that the venue had changed to a bowling alley.I asked what the price was and she said oh lots cheaper--never offered to return any of the money.We are NOT rich and that was part of our savings.She told me to wear a dress just like her mothers-- her mother is a size 5 and was wearing a tube top type dress..I am NOT a size 5 and asked to wear something that fit my frame--I was paying for it.She told me that she was thinking of not inviting us to the wedding if I insisted on another dress.I told her that would be fine.She then said fine wear what you want.She did not talk to us for 1 year after that..we found out through the grapevine that they had a baby.She then told people we never came to see the baby-- we did not even know about.We finally talked them into counseling--after 6 weeks the whole thing came down to she was mad because I did not make her a chocolate cake on her birthday and make her feel special.We are like what?????So now they have 2 kids- the woman has accused us of doing sexual things to the children so they can not stay the night anymore-- our choice on that- we even suggested they call child services-- she then said well it was all a joke and you did not get it.OMG not funny.She then told us that we needed to feed her children only low fat low cal and she had to approve the meals.I said then you can bring their food--she now says we mistreat them due to the fact we will not spend money on them for their"diet".Her 5 year old is asking how many calories are in stuff and saying she can not have anything with fat in it..the mother has an eating disorder--although she will not admit it.- she came to Christmas folded her arms and never spoke to a person.I am sick of her and my son lets her just rule people.I have no respect for him and he treats us like crap.We sent him a birthday card with money and he never even said thanks or called on moms day.The younger boy and his family said they are done with them and we should be done also.The DIL from hell is rude nasty and self indulged.We have tried to be nice but she always thinks the worst.We have decided that if the penalty is no contact with the grandchildren and our son to be rid of her then it is well worth it.He is older then her buy almost 10 years and all that know them say it will noty be long and she will dump him for a younger party type guy.I just hope they dont have any more kids.I just thnak God for the other DIL-- is nice to see that there are sweet ones out there. F. I have 2 daughter in laws.One is as sweet as can be- her family is as well.They share the hoildays with us and we have a little grnadaughter that is loved by all and another on the way.They call us we call them- we even hang out together.
The other daughter in law is from hell and so her is drunken dysfunctional family- she is a size 00 due to throwing up she has had boob jobs tummy tucks botox and she is not 32 yet and she is on some kind of meds for being crazy–although she has self diagonised as OCD.She knew my son about 6 months before they married- he met her on the internet after divorcing another woman just like her – that one was on prozac and had a sex addiction.When they were planning the wedding I stayed out of it..we paid for his first one-yet they begged us to pay for the before wedding dinner.They asked us for $500.00 and said it was going to be at a country club.3 days before the dinner in her driveway she snickered that the venue had changed to a bowling alley.I asked what the price was and she said oh lots cheaper–never offered to return any of the money.We are NOT rich and that was part of our savings.She told me to wear a dress just like her mothers– her mother is a size 5 and was wearing a tube top type dress..I am NOT a size 5 and asked to wear something that fit my frame–I was paying for it.She told me that she was thinking of not inviting us to the wedding if I insisted on another dress.I told her that would be fine.She then said fine wear what you want.She did not talk to us for 1 year after that..we found out through the grapevine that they had a baby.She then told people we never came to see the baby– we did not even know about.We finally talked them into counseling–after 6 weeks the whole thing came down to she was mad because I did not make her a chocolate cake on her birthday and make her feel special.We are like what?????So now they have 2 kids- the woman has accused us of doing sexual things to the children so they can not stay the night anymore– our choice on that- we even suggested they call child services– she then said well it was all a joke and you did not get it.OMG not funny.She then told us that we needed to feed her children only low fat low cal and she had to approve the meals.I said then you can bring their food–she now says we mistreat them due to the fact we will not spend money on them for their”diet”.Her 5 year old is asking how many calories are in stuff and saying she can not have anything with fat in it..the mother has an eating disorder–although she will not admit it.- she came to Christmas folded her arms and never spoke to a person.I am sick of her and my son lets her just rule people.I have no respect for him and he treats us like crap.We sent him a birthday card with money and he never even said thanks or called on moms day.The younger boy and his family said they are done with them and we should be done also.The DIL from hell is rude nasty and self indulged.We have tried to be nice but she always thinks the worst.We have decided that if the penalty is no contact with the grandchildren and our son to be rid of her then it is well worth it.He is older then her buy almost 10 years and all that know them say it will noty be long and she will dump him for a younger party type guy.I just hope they dont have any more kids.I just thnak God for the other DIL– is nice to see that there are sweet ones out there. F.

]]> By: Franny http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7212 Franny Sun, 24 Jan 2010 02:14:53 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7212 Oh no. It's obvious. Oh no. It’s obvious.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7210 Luise Sat, 23 Jan 2010 04:07:35 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7210 It msy be obvious or it may be an "I think." It msy be obvious or it may be an “I think.”

]]> By: Franny http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7209 Franny Sat, 23 Jan 2010 03:57:40 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7209 Your daughter-in - law was getting more "crap put on her head." What does that even mean? Shame on you for such a horrible, hateful remark. Plenty of mature adult women manage to have decent relationships with their mother-in-laws. You're obviously to blame in this situation. Your daughter-in – law was getting more “crap put on her head.” What does that even mean? Shame on you for such a horrible, hateful remark. Plenty of mature adult women manage to have decent relationships with their mother-in-laws. You’re obviously to blame in this situation.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7074 Luise Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:30:11 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7074 What a bummer! You got the short end of the stick both ways! Please come over to my web-Forum: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com I think you will get a lot of support there. Blessings, Luise What a bummer! You got the short end of the stick both ways! Please come over to my web-Forum: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com I think you will get a lot of support there. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: P. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-7073 P. Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:00:16 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-7073 I had a very interfering mother-in-law and I vowed I would never be like her. She was a sergeant major in the army ---I will leave the rest to your imagination. Now I am saddled with a rude future daughter-in-law. I have never interfered but she drags me into imaginary arguments. Twists what I say and bla bla bla. They live overseas--I Hope they stay there permanently. I have a very busy life with my own interests and dont need a silly, jealous, madam to cause a family feud. P. I had a very interfering mother-in-law and I vowed I would never be like her. She was a sergeant major in the army —I will leave the rest to your imagination. Now I am saddled with a rude future daughter-in-law. I have never interfered but she drags me into imaginary arguments. Twists what I say and bla bla bla. They live overseas–I Hope they stay there permanently. I have a very busy life with my own interests and dont need a silly, jealous, madam to cause a family feud. P.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-6224 Luise Sun, 17 May 2009 14:06:35 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-6224 Dear G.: You are doing your best. What you are giving your grand kids is priceless. Your DIL's attitude is something you can't change. If kindness and warmth would do it...you would have succeeded long ago. What you are offering is a role model for her kids. That could very easily alter their lives now and give them a leg up when they move out into the adult world. Your DIL has issues that contract the world around her. You expand quite naturally and that's a gift to everyone in your family and extended family. Please consider posting the same issues on my new web Forum: www.motherinlawsunite.com . A problem-solving, supportive community is forming there. Blessings, Luise Dear G.: You are doing your best. What you are giving your grand kids is priceless. Your DIL’s attitude is something you can’t change. If kindness and warmth would do it…you would have succeeded long ago. What you are offering is a role model for her kids. That could very easily alter their lives now and give them a leg up when they move out into the adult world. Your DIL has issues that contract the world around her. You expand quite naturally and that’s a gift to everyone in your family and extended family. Please consider posting the same issues on my new web Forum: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com . A problem-solving, supportive community is forming there. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: G. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-6211 G. Thu, 14 May 2009 18:16:37 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-6211 It was hard for me to believe that there are other women out there who have the same problem as me....a daughter-in-law who wreaks havoc in a family. Mine was wonderful and compassionate until she had their first child. Then, she instigated a competition between her parents and us. She wants the kids to love her parents more. We just want to love the kids. Her parents live an hour from here and we get to see the kids more. We are called upon to do so much with them, because my son and her both work. Naturally, the kids are going to care about us, because they are here at our house 6 out of 7 days. We are a fun bunch and the kids love it here. She absolutely hates the fact that they love us. I don't know what to do to help the situation. I have tried so hard to make her life easier, but nothing seems to work. And, as time goes on, she is getting meaner. I wonder sometimes if she is jealous of the close knit family that we have? She only has one sister, and it is very evident to everyone that her parents are partial to the sister. We have 4 children in all....3 boys and one girl, and our daughter has even tried to be really good to her....to no avail. Any suggestions? G. It was hard for me to believe that there are other women out there who have the same problem as me….a daughter-in-law who wreaks havoc in a family. Mine was wonderful and compassionate until she had their first child. Then, she instigated a competition between her parents and us. She wants the kids to love her parents more. We just want to love the kids. Her parents live an hour from here and we get to see the kids more. We are called upon to do so much with them, because my son and her both work. Naturally, the kids are going to care about us, because they are here at our house 6 out of 7 days. We are a fun bunch and the kids love it here. She absolutely hates the fact that they love us. I don’t know what to do to help the situation. I have tried so hard to make her life easier, but nothing seems to work. And, as time goes on, she is getting meaner. I wonder sometimes if she is jealous of the close knit family that we have? She only has one sister, and it is very evident to everyone that her parents are partial to the sister. We have 4 children in all….3 boys and one girl, and our daughter has even tried to be really good to her….to no avail. Any suggestions? G.

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-5789 Luise Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:44:48 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-5789 Dear A. I'm sure that has been your experience but I also know it can go either way. I had one of each...a DIL who would take a bullet for me and one who wanted to put one in me! Blessings, Luise Dear A. I’m sure that has been your experience but I also know it can go either way. I had one of each…a DIL who would take a bullet for me and one who wanted to put one in me! Blessings, Luise

]]> By: A. http://www.momresponds.com/804/she-misconstrues-whatever-we-say/comment-page-1/#comment-5779 A. Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:29:17 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/?p=804#comment-5779 Dear Luise: I have two daughter in-laws. Nothing you say will ever be OK and they ALWAYS use the grandchildren for punishment. It is rare I think to have a DIL who respects her in- laws as she would her own parents. DIL's always want to go to their parents home for holidays or cut in-law's holidays short. They are jealous if you EVEN buy a gift for a grandchild ...unless their parents thought of it..I say do as me and SLAM the DAMN door and tell them to stay the hell out! A. Dear Luise: I have two daughter in-laws. Nothing you say will ever be OK and they ALWAYS use the grandchildren for punishment. It is rare I think to have a DIL who respects her in- laws as she would her own parents. DIL’s always want to go to their parents home for holidays or cut in-law’s holidays short. They are jealous if you EVEN buy a gift for a grandchild …unless their parents thought of it..I say do as me and SLAM the DAMN door and tell them to stay the hell out! A.

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