http://www.momresponds.com/541/its-falling-apart/ Luise Addresses Your Interests With Wisdom and Love Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:55:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 http://www.momresponds.com/541/its-falling-apart/#comment-5084 Luise Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:33:04 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/541/its-falling-apart/#comment-5084 Dear T.: OK, now both of you are talking so you really don't need me any more. How wonderful that you care enough to enter into dialoguing about this. No matter how hard it is, the only way I know of through this kind of thing is communication. No one is perfect and all of us are different. That's what the "bird and fish thing" is all about. You can't ask her to be different and she can't ask you to be different, either. But...you can negotiate. You have done a great job of admitting your short suits. She has them, too. And you are right that we can't be in each others pockets 24/7. But being a new mom is a really isolated job. And being a housewife is just a step or two from being a domestic servant. If you can be a little less defensive about your guy-stuff, you should be able to work this out. The love you both feel for your daughter probably isn't enough but it's a really good foundation for backing down a bit and trying harder. The bird can step into the water a ways and the fish can swim near the shore. They're still really different but they can get a lot closer. Blessings, Luise Dear T.: OK, now both of you are talking so you really don’t need me any more. How wonderful that you care enough to enter into dialoguing about this. No matter how hard it is, the only way I know of through this kind of thing is communication. No one is perfect and all of us are different. That’s what the “bird and fish thing” is all about. You can’t ask her to be different and she can’t ask you to be different, either. But…you can negotiate. You have done a great job of admitting your short suits. She has them, too. And you are right that we can’t be in each others pockets 24/7. But being a new mom is a really isolated job. And being a housewife is just a step or two from being a domestic servant. If you can be a little less defensive about your guy-stuff, you should be able to work this out. The love you both feel for your daughter probably isn’t enough but it’s a really good foundation for backing down a bit and trying harder. The bird can step into the water a ways and the fish can swim near the shore. They’re still really different but they can get a lot closer. Blessings, Luise

]]> http://www.momresponds.com/541/its-falling-apart/#comment-5083 T. Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:41:10 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/541/its-falling-apart/#comment-5083 I don't know what I'm doing, but my women said she talked to you yesterday and you gave her good advice. But see, I'm not one to do this kind off stuff. We got into a huge argument cause she said that I don't pay attention to her and that I only care about having fun and going out. My girl friend doesn't think I love her anymore. She keeps repeating the same thing over and over to me, a bird can love a fish but were would they live? I don't get it. I love her so, so much but cant really find a way to show her that I love her. I am not a guy to talk stuff over like other men.I mean, I admit I have a lot pride but I need her to accept me for who i am. We have a 8 month baby girl who we love a lot and that's my main concern right now. It's hers too but she has to understand that I'm not ready to change. She keeps telling me that I never will and she is probably right. I love to drink with my friends and I have a tendency to forget about her and ignore her but I cant have her buy my side 24-7. I need my space. I'm a man! I cant be cluttered all the time! I love my girl to death. I would die if I lost her but I can't change who I am. She is a good person and I don't deserve her but she is still with me. I can admit that I always put the blame on her when it's not her fault. I just can't admit mine. We're falling apart and I'm stuck and desperate for advice. I am a local Hawaiian boy from the island of Maui and I dont do this too often but if I lose my sweetheart I wont have anything left. T. I don’t know what I’m doing, but my women said she talked to you yesterday and you gave her good advice. But see, I’m not one to do this kind off stuff. We got into a huge argument cause she said that I don’t pay attention to her and that I only care about having fun and going out. My girl friend doesn’t think I love her anymore. She keeps repeating the same thing over and over to me, a bird can love a fish but were would they live? I don’t get it. I love her so, so much but cant really find a way to show her that I love her. I am not a guy to talk stuff over like other men.I mean, I admit I have a lot pride but I need her to accept me for who i am. We have a 8 month baby girl who we love a lot and that’s my main concern right now. It’s hers too but she has to understand that I’m not ready to change. She keeps telling me that I never will and she is probably right. I love to drink with my friends and I have a tendency to forget about her and ignore her but I cant have her buy my side 24-7. I need my space. I’m a man! I cant be cluttered all the time! I love my girl to death. I would die if I lost her but I can’t change who I am. She is a good person and I don’t deserve her but she is still with me. I can admit that I always put the blame on her when it’s not her fault. I just can’t admit mine. We’re falling apart and I’m stuck and desperate for advice. I am a local Hawaiian boy from the island of Maui and I dont do this too often but if I lose my sweetheart I wont have anything left. T.

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