What’s Going on with Us, if Anything

Question: Dear Luise: What is the reality of me and L.? Will we sort things out? What do I mean to him? It seems he just wants casual sex. I’m unsure where I stand. If we will have a relationship. If this can develop into a long term, committed, love relationship. S.

Answer: Dear S.: The only way you are going to open any doors to process this information is through verbal communication. If you are left to guess what’s going on, it’s anybody’s guess. Right?

It’s often a lot harder than we expected to get honest communication going. Some guys aren’t very good at it and many who have the skill don’t want to get into it. However, you have a right to know where you’re headed and what’s going on in L.’s head, if anything. There’s a chance that nothing is going on. Casual sex may be just that and nothing more.

If your guy isn’t seriously interested in you, asking for clarity will bring that out quite quickly. If you are highly valued, he will want to protect and support that. However, it looks like it’s up to you to get the ball rolling. Don’t put it off worrying about the outcome. He’s either in it for the long haul or he isn’t. You need to know.

It sounds to me like you are very interested in him. So, under the circumstance, it’s worth following-up on. What won’t work is just leaving it to take care of itself. Blessings, Luise

About Luise Volta

Luise’s long life has brought her to being the great grandmother of four teenagers. Born in 1927, the miles in between her teens and theirs have been full of falling and getting up, learning and growing and then falling and getting up again. A normal, though not simple, process. She has had diverse careers in nursing, teaching preschool, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting and dairy herd testing. She’s lived in the Mid-west, South and West Coast. Luise is married to the love of her life, Val, born in 1911. Their little terrier, “Rosa,” makes most of the major decisions at their house, (or thinks she does).
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