Question: Dear Luise: Should I get mad if my boyfriend wants to look at dirty magazines? Valarie
Answer: Dear Valerie: There are a lot of people pondering that question these days. There is the concept that “boys will be boys” and it’s a natural process for many of them as they explore their own sexuality. And there is the fact that many move on to porn sites on the web and into serious addiction. Then, of course, there are those who skip the magazines and go straight to the web.
The common response from a guy is “it isn’t about you” but that’s just the point. Quite often they are pleased with themselves that they have been honest and are not sneaking around. Or did you stumble onto it on your own?
If you are in school, do you have a counselor you can talk to? Your feelings matter here, you know. The fact that you have written to me about it indicates your concern.
There’s such a fine balance between knowing you aren’t perfect along with knowing that there’s no such thing as a perfect boyfriend…and getting into a situation that isn’t healthy. Trying to decide is often something that your intuition can help you with. How does it make you feel? How does your boyfriend react to your reaction?
If this is an issue between you, then it is something important in his life and I think I would leave him to it and move on. Not in search of the perfect guy but looking for a better-balanced person with a healthier outlook on life. Blessings, Luise
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