Comments on: I Don’t Want a Divorce…Why is This Happening

By: H.

H. — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:22:10 +0000

Easier said than done. He left me two weeks ago today. I am hopeful that one day he will come back. I am moving ahead and looking into my own home with my kids and starting a life on my own. But, my heart tells me to hang in there and maybe he will see the light.

By: Luise

Luise — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:24:57 +0000

Dear H. Well, there’s no news like bad news! I’d like to suggest that you let go of trying to figure out what you did wrong as soon as you possibly can. The answer is “nothing.” I mean it. How can “being you” be wrong? He picked you 20 years ago for “being you.” He is responsible for his actions, you aren’t. He is responsible for his attitudes…he is responsible for his letting whatever this is pile up until it became an inner avalanche…he is responsible for his drinking and he is responsible for not being able to stand on his own two feet. All of it. At this stage there’s probably no use trying to figure it out. Figure out how to survive it, instead, and move on. Your life isn’t over and who knows what lies ahead? Perhaps adventures await! I’ve “been there” and that’s what happened to me. Blessings, Luise

By: H.

H. — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:57:27 +0000

Come to find out he is living with my best friend and her husband, instead of being in his own home. Not only has a marriage been broken but the friendship has been broken. He states that he doesn’t care, that he cant stand me and cant stand to be around me. He has never been so mean in the 20 years, why now? I asked him if it were a mid life crisis, he laughed at me and told me that was another one of my excuses. What happened? What did I do that was so wrong? H.

By: Luise

Luise — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:21:48 +0000

Dear H. Talk about being blindsided! No marriage is perfect and we all just do the best we can with the imperfections…both in others and in ourselves. Blessings, Luise

By: H.

H. — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:15:20 +0000

I know exactly what you are going through. My husband of 20 years walked out on me and our three kids. He stated that he can’t stand me, can’t stand to be around me and doesn’t love me. He also said that there isn’t anyone else and never has been, that he is just not happy. We, as a family, had our ups and downs, he never tried to tell me that he was unhappy, he would just drink. I didn’t see this coming. We disagreed and agreed, so I am at a loss if he will ever try to fix our marriage. I asked for counseling he stated that no one can change his mind, he tells the kids that he didn’t leave them he just left me. H.