Comments on: My Situation Feels Unresolvable http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/ Luise Addresses Your Interests With Wisdom and Love Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:04:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: marisa http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-2986 marisa Wed, 27 Dec 2006 00:40:34 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-2986 Dear Luise, before my fiancee and I got together he was in a relationship which lasted 15 years, it has now been 1 year and a half since we got together and they still have contact. His ex messages and calles him every day, she moved down the road to where he lives, she even dyed her hair the same colour as mine. She is not letting go of him and he is finding it hard to let go of her. My partner is a very soft and kind hearted man and he feels guilty for hurting her, but at the same time their relationship is hurting me so he is confused about what to do. I have been seeing a therapist to talk about my feeling, I have talked to my partner about it, I have even given him an ultimatem, but all of these things seem to only have a temporary calming effect. I love him and I want to start planning our future with him but this situation is starting to really get to me down and hold me back. I don't know what to do? Dear Luise, before my fiancee and I got together he was in a relationship which lasted 15 years, it has now been 1 year and a half since we got together and they still have contact. His ex messages and calles him every day, she moved down the road to where he lives, she even dyed her hair the same colour as mine. She is not letting go of him and he is finding it hard to let go of her. My partner is a very soft and kind hearted man and he feels guilty for hurting her, but at the same time their relationship is hurting me so he is confused about what to do. I have been seeing a therapist to talk about my feeling, I have talked to my partner about it, I have even given him an ultimatem, but all of these things seem to only have a temporary calming effect. I love him and I want to start planning our future with him but this situation is starting to really get to me down and hold me back. I don’t know what to do?

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-2001 Luise Wed, 01 Nov 2006 19:36:40 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-2001 Answer: Dear Pinklady: It is time to stop writing and take action. It would be my guess that you are deeply in love with someone you pretty much made up. The real guy isn't living up to the picture you have painted of him in your heart. You love a ghost. Move on and get help getting through your heartbreak which is totally and completely real. Blessings, Luise Answer: Dear Pinklady: It is time to stop writing and take action. It would be my guess that you are deeply in love with someone you pretty much made up. The real guy isn’t living up to the picture you have painted of him in your heart. You love a ghost. Move on and get help getting through your heartbreak which is totally and completely real. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: Pinklady627 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1894 Pinklady627 Fri, 27 Oct 2006 23:46:38 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1894 Dear Luise: You know the words that you said to me in your response to my question were the words that I come to mind everytime he does something to me. I know that I deserve so much more and I plan on getting exactly that. I talked to him lastnight on the telephone regarding this last problem that we had. Lastnight was the first time that we talked in almost a week. When I asked him to give me an explanation on his behavior and he told me that he was torn in between to people that he was in love with. He told me that he was in love with me because of the person that I have been to him. I have always been there for him no matter the situation. And he said that he was in love with the other girl because she was there for him when his mother put him out of her house and he didn't have anywhere else to go. And he said that he didn't want to hurt either one of us, but he doesn't want either one of us out of his life. I explained to him why I couldn't be in his life anymore. And he said that he understood, but he wasn't going to let me go. He said that I am special to him and he has a funny way of showing it, but I am really special to him. Yeah Luise those are words that I used to love to hear, but I have had enough of what he has put me through. Thank you so much. Dear Luise:

You know the words that you said to me in your response to my question were the words that I come to mind everytime he does something to me. I know that I deserve so much more and I plan on getting exactly that. I talked to him lastnight on the telephone regarding this last problem that we had. Lastnight was the first time that we talked in almost a week. When I asked him to give me an explanation on his behavior and he told me that he was torn in between to people that he was in love with. He told me that he was in love with me because of the person that I have been to him. I have always been there for him no matter the situation. And he said that he was in love with the other girl because she was there for him when his mother put him out of her house and he didn’t have anywhere else to go. And he said that he didn’t want to hurt either one of us, but he doesn’t want either one of us out of his life. I explained to him why I couldn’t be in his life anymore. And he said that he understood, but he wasn’t going to let me go. He said that I am special to him and he has a funny way of showing it, but I am really special to him. Yeah Luise those are words that I used to love to hear, but I have had enough of what he has put me through. Thank you so much.

]]> By: Pinklady627 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1863 Pinklady627 Thu, 26 Oct 2006 01:58:45 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1863 Dear Luise, The situation just continues to get worse and I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to just walk away. Even though I love him with all my heart I cannot stand the pain any longer. I just can't understand why I love him so much. Before I could tell people that he has done everything to me except put his hands on me. But he just recently managed to accomplish that also. And that made me decide to just leave him alone all together. I still feel love for him, and it hurts me to know that when he tries to come back this time I am going to turn away from him. I have never turned away from him and this is going to be the first time. Luise why do I still feel love for him? Dear Luise,

The situation just continues to get worse and I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to just walk away. Even though I love him with all my heart I cannot stand the pain any longer. I just can’t understand why I love him so much. Before I could tell people that he has done everything to me except put his hands on me. But he just recently managed to accomplish that also. And that made me decide to just leave him alone all together. I still feel love for him, and it hurts me to know that when he tries to come back this time I am going to turn away from him. I have never turned away from him and this is going to be the first time. Luise why do I still feel love for him?

]]> By: Luise http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1809 Luise Tue, 24 Oct 2006 00:53:19 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1809 Answer: Dear Pinklady: I will be treating the above as a fresh question instead of a comment later this week. Blessings, Luise Answer: Dear Pinklady: I will be treating the above as a fresh question instead of a comment later this week. Blessings, Luise

]]> By: Pinklady627 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1728 Pinklady627 Sat, 21 Oct 2006 06:52:20 +0000 http://www.momresponds.com/449/unresolvable-situation/#comment-1728 I have a problem and I do not know where to begin to solve it. I got into a relationship four years ago. The first year of the relationship was wonderful except for the occasional arguments, but every relationship has those. At the end of the first year we separated because he had cheated on me. I can honestly say that I never gave him a reason to go out and cheat. I got along, with his child and his entire family. His family loved me and I loved them also. Well throughout our relationship the mother of his child would constantly give us problems, and that was the person that he ended up cheating on me with. So we separated, but that wasn’t what I wanted to do because I was still in love with him. I wanted us to fix things. But he wanted to be free and he never rekindled a relationship with the mother of his child it was just a one time thing. Well things went sour with him and his family so he was put out of the house. Well there was a female who had been wanting to date him, but she wouldn’t because she knew that we were together at the time when she inquired about him. So the next time that she had inquired about him she was told that me and him were on the breaks. So she ran into him and let him know how she felt and then after awhile he moved in with her. But the entire time he is still dealing with me and I didn’t know about him moving in with her at first. Eventually I found out and he would lie to me and tell me that they were just roommates and that he wanted us to get our own place. Well we put in our applications to move in together and the day before we were supposed to take our deposit and pick up our keys he lost his job. So that cancelled that entire moving in together situation. He continued to stay with the girl and continued dealing with me telling me that they were just roommates. Well eventually the truth came out on both ends. He was lying to her and he was lying to me. But after that encounter we both continued to deal with him. Then she started kicking him out of her house and then he would go back to his family and then they would kick him out and he would go back to her house and this has been going on for 2 years now. Sometimes when she would kick him out he would come to me and say lets try this living together thing again. I would go for it and then something would go wrong and we would go our separate ways. But I cannot seem to get away from him, I am so in love with him and I refuse to let him go to another woman. I think that he needs to be with me because anytime he has problems with anything he always has me to come to no one else is there for him like I am, not even his family. I love him and I can’t let him go. I have a problem and I do not know where to begin to solve it. I got into a relationship four years ago. The first year of the relationship was wonderful except for the occasional arguments, but every relationship has those. At the end of the first year we separated because he had cheated on me. I can honestly say that I never gave him a reason to go out and cheat. I got along, with his child and his entire family. His family loved me and I loved them also. Well throughout our relationship the mother of his child would constantly give us problems, and that was the person that he ended up cheating on me with. So we separated, but that wasn’t what I wanted to do because I was still in love with him. I wanted us to fix things. But he wanted to be free and he never rekindled a relationship with the mother of his child it was just a one time thing. Well things went sour with him and his family so he was put out of the house. Well there was a female who had been wanting to date him, but she wouldn’t because she knew that we were together at the time when she inquired about him. So the next time that she had inquired about him she was told that me and him were on the breaks. So she ran into him and let him know how she felt and then after awhile he moved in with her. But the entire time he is still dealing with me and I didn’t know about him moving in with her at first. Eventually I found out and he would lie to me and tell me that they were just roommates and that he wanted us to get our own place. Well we put in our applications to move in together and the day before we were supposed to take our deposit and pick up our keys he lost his job. So that cancelled that entire moving in together situation. He continued to stay with the girl and continued dealing with me telling me that they were just roommates. Well eventually the truth came out on both ends. He was lying to her and he was lying to me. But after that encounter we both continued to deal with him. Then she started kicking him out of her house and then he would go back to his family and then they would kick him out and he would go back to her house and this has been going on for 2 years now. Sometimes when she would kick him out he would come to me and say lets try this living together thing again. I would go for it and then something would go wrong and we would go our separate ways. But I cannot seem to get away from him, I am so in love with him and I refuse to let him go to another woman. I think that he needs to be with me because anytime he has problems with anything he always has me to come to no one else is there for him like I am, not even his family. I love him and I can’t let him go.

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