Question: Dear Luise: We have been dating for six months now and we are only intimate twice a month if that. He says he doesnt like to told when to. I dont tell him when to I simply state when Im in the mood..trust me it doesnt happen..we are only intimate when he’s in the mood. I am 40 years old and he is 46..there is a 15 year old at home so thats not the issue..he’s not a baby….yet he makes fun of me saying Im always in the mood and laughs about it..a few months ago he bragged about how much sex he had years ago with another partner (like I needed to hear that)..yet hes not a firecracker with me..I feel like Im not his type and hes just passing time with me until something better comes along..he states he loves me but he just doesnt get into it that much..what should I do? A.
Answer: Dear A.: There is an underlying thread of cruelty in being made fun of for being healthy and normal. You may be “loved” but he sounds more like a roommate than a significant other.
It obviously isn’t working for you and is translating into abuse on some level. What often follows is a sense of a lack of self-worth. It sounds to me like you know that and just needed to be heard. My take: Move on. Blessings, Luise