Question: Dear Luise: I’ve been dating this girl for almost three years now. She was a shy girl so I didn’t make any sort of move until she decided she wanted to. We’ve been having sex for awhile now and she dropped the bomb on me that she doesn’t want to have sex anymore. She says it’s because of religious reasons and I can respect that. My problem is that I’m not sure to handle it. I know I don’t necessarily need sex but it’s something I want. P.
Answer: Dear P.: That’s a tough situation from my perspective. And I admire your ability to see the difference between need and want. There are couples that choose abstinence for various reasons but that ship has sailed for you. I don’t know of any way that you can go backward and feel that the price isn’t too high. You gave your girlfriend respect and plenty of room to decide without pressure. She did that and freely chose to include sexual expression in your relationship. It may be of the utmost importance to her to reverse that…but I also see it as unkind and unrealistic. You may find that you want to move on. If you do, it will not be about unkindness on your part, from my point of view, but the acceptance of incompatibility. Blessings, Luise