Question: Dear Luise: i hope you an help us me my husband gets so upset everytime we go to my sons for any occasion his wife has no respect towards us we walk in as we are invissible never welcome us at the door or leaving greet us my other son got upset too we were so nnice to her ever since they met gave gifts paid for half bridal shower some of the wedding already 4 years married 2 years before she never speak to us i keep peace very rude with me never told my son have a feeling rude to him to the way she speeks when not around never tld him anything because when i call him always busy he say he call back but neve do many nights i cry dont upset my hubby to much sorry to a long story like to feel peace in my heart hurt to much thank you.god bless A.
Answer: Dear A.: I know how that feels. I wish I didn’t but I do.
Your son is an adult. He gets to make his own choices. He and his wife have started a new family unit and they get to make the rules.
It is normal to have simple expectations when our children leave us but they have no obligations to meet those expectations. That’s how it is. That’s how they are. Tears may relieve stress but nothing is going to change it.
You were a whole person before you had children and you can be whole again. Let them go. You did your best and your job is done. You matter and you deserve so much better. Create a new life for yourself and give it to yourself. Don’t get stuck in how unfair it is (and it is terribly unfair) and don’t get stuck in self-pity…it’s a dead end and will make you sick. Blessings, Luise