Question: Dear Luise: I’m having trouble being in a relationship. I really care about my boyfriend but I am also not above responding when someone else pays some attention to me. Is that normal? Would it hurt anything if I was just a little bit playful? Not seriously, of course. This is all new to me. Boots
Answer: Dear Boots: You sound like you may not be quite ready for a full-time guy in your life. I know it’s nice to have the status he is offering you but it’s also a responsibility, in a certain way…and limiting.
Why not talk with him about being friends and dating others as well? Other people pay attention to you and you are curious. That’s normal. If you date only one person, too soon, it will naturally make you wonder about the others.
Quite often the decision to limit your interest to one person is made because you are flattered that someone cares that much about you. It is pretty nice. Then, later on you may stop and reconsider. I see that as wise.
Dating is about meeting many different people and it’s usually wise not to leave the dating scene too quickly. You may find that you will feel happier when you go back to a variety.
Being young comes around only once and it can be a lot of fun. Why not lighten up about it. Being in a group that does things together can be another aspect of your socializing. Have you done much of that? Experiment.
You are on the right track by asking the question. It shows that you are willing to look at your reactions and feelings and learn from them. Blessings, Luise
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