How Can I Prepare My Young Son?

Question: Dear Luise: My son just turned 9. His father and I split 8 years ago. He continues to be physically abusive towards me and causes constant drama. I want my son to feel safe with me; like that stuff doesn’t come into our home. Most of all I want to preserve our relationship. I know his father does not like to pay support and he’s been subtly laying the groundwork about why dad’s house is better. I want my son to want to stay with me.  But more importantly, I want to raise a man who can handle this and think for himself and love both of his parents. I have read some of your responses and a lot of what you say is about acceptance and letting others make their own choices.  How can I best spend the next couple of precious years to prepare my son for this next battle and for life? And should I concede right away if my son wants to live with his dad?  Just tell him my door is always open? Thank you for your time and for opening your heart. S.

Answer: Dear S. You have posed a very wise and difficult question. I would like to invite you to bring it over to my Web-forum – www.WiseWomenUnite.com – where women deal with issues with adult children and extended families. There is a lot of combined experience there that may be helpful to you and I think you might benefit from a discussion venue. I hope to see you there. Blessings, Luise

About Luise Volta

Luise’s long life has brought her to being the great grandmother of four teenagers. Born in 1927, the miles in between her teens and theirs have been full of falling and getting up, learning and growing and then falling and getting up again. A normal, though not simple, process. She has had diverse careers in nursing, teaching preschool, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting and dairy herd testing. She’s lived in the Mid-west, South and West Coast. Luise is married to the love of her life, Val, born in 1911. Their little terrier, “Rosa,” makes most of the major decisions at their house, (or thinks she does).
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